event?Clearly it's impossible, but if you could subtract a parent's accidental death, a bad decision, or some words you thoughtlessly uttered... it's interesting to imagine where you could be today. Thinking about it is probably not healthy, but I've been doing it anyway... sort of like eating corn nuts.
Not that long ago, I had only one thing I desired to change. Now I can think of 3 or 4 things. I suppose (hope) maybe that's a function of getting older, and not a sign that I am making more mistakes... (here, I warped into about an hour-long reverie, during which I finished three cups of coffee, and from which I procured exactly zero answers) I just think I'm ignoring simple evidence/signs, and not trusting my gut.
Indulge me a minute. I tend to analyze things to DEATH. Upon analyzing a possible scenario, I come up with 3 or 4 possible results. Being a fairly complex thinker, (this is not a point of pride) I tend to place equal weight on all results, instead of using the theory of Occam's Razor to deduce which is likely correct. Then, for whatever reason, I go with the most complex of the possibilities, instead of the most simple.
For instance, in relationships, I tend to think "if I did this, then this, then this... and she did that, that and that... it could work well." Instead, I should have thought "this is way too complex, I believe I will move on."
I need to remember that about myself, and adjust accordingly... because there's no going back and changing anything - time travel* is just not possible. I am positive about this - I have analyzed it to DEATH.
Is there anything you'd like to do over?
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*Yeah, go ahead and click that link. These people are SERIOUS! (and it IS sort of a fascinating scenario)
15 comments:
I have insomnia because I think about "if I did this...." and "if I had said that..". It is maddening.
Dave, I'm seriously troubled by the same complex scenerio. Hindsight is a bitch they say. But it doesn't stop me from replaying images of my past in my head over and over and wishing I'd made a different choice to get where I am. I could have a list a mile long.
Two things, 1. I would have done things differently with some friends in high school, and 2. I think I would have made more of an effort to know my biological father and grandmother. I might have missed something there but they are both deceased now so...
I am sure there are more things out there but those two popped to my mind reading your post.
Gee, I think I will start one of those sites. Only charge $5, but what the hell, it's all gravy, so WTF?
I would go back and not break up with Talisyn Flagg just before our senior prom. This would almost certainly have no effect on my life course, but it would mean not carrying around the guilt. Everyone else I've been an ass to either deserved it, or failed to respond with such decorum that it scarred me with guilt for life.
I sometimes wish I had a do over, that my kids could be born without having muscular dystrophy, that I was nicer to some people (yeah I can be mean when I want, don't let the quietness fool you), that I was not afraid to take chances or try new things and now wished I had tried them(basically I am too reserved and a scaredy cat).
Susan R.
I wish it was me, instead of Susan R., who went to prom with you. :)
Seriously, there are few things I'd do differently if I had them to do over, times I put my foot in my mouth and hurt someone's feelings, not been so hung up on grades in high school...that sort of thing. But really, I have no major regrets.
Hey that hurt my feelings little Miss Blogarita (just kidding), I would have shared him, we could of had a threesome date, I'm sure Dave would have liked it, you know how men how, LOL.
I don't think I'd change anything,take back anything,relive a moment differently.
We are the culmination of our life as we've lived it~~ good and bad.
Or as a good friend of mine once said~~"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam, I'm popeye the sailor man"~~~~Oops~~ ok so he wasn't really a good friend~~ but he was wise none the less
I had a pretty tragic laden life. I had an abusive ex who beat me daily. I had a parent die tragically and suddenly. I lost a son, which is probably the biggest sadness in my world. However, I am a BIG believer in everything for a reason.
And, if I had to re-do everything ALL OVER AGAIN, just to make sure that everything is the way it is right now...I wouldn't change a thing. Therefore, I can't say that there is anything I would do-over. Nothing at all.
CP.
Dave, I recently discussed this also. I wondered when you die if there was a way for God to say.."well, you did ok but is there anything you would like to do over?" For me, it would be easy. High school. I fucked around with drugs so much that I lost interest, now look where it got me!!! Seriously, to take advantage of high school and the college life that followed would be about the only thing I would do over. I can live it vicariously through my son, but if given just one chance...I would have paid more attention.
I make some sort of reference to stuff like this on the main bio of my blog site, too.
There are a lot of things I'd do differently, but they all tend to come back to issues with my career (not branching out instead of staying safe/big fish small pond stuff) and my kids. Divorce sucks (BOTH of them...although I'm glad I did it) and I really lost contact and any control over all three of my kids. Now, despite what they say, it's just too damn late.
And...despite it sounding weird on your blog, one of the main things I'd change was losing the solid friendship that you and I had thru the fun, early years of our careers. I finally went my way, you went yours, and despite promises it wouldn't be this way, we just aren't as close as we were.
I'd change all of that, in a heartbeat.
I do that ALL of the time. All of the time. But you know, Dave... 1 event would change everything. The Butterfly Effect. Things happen for a reason, and even the most HORRENDOUS events serve their purpose in one way or another down the road...
If we could go back in time, we could consult with some of the world's greatest minds -- Einstein, da Vinci, Confucious, Plato -- but I think the eloquence of Cher says it best: If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. I'd take back those words that hurt you. And you'd stay.
Brilliant.
The problem for me is that I believe I have already time-traveled and by some twisted joke, they pulled back to this era.
I'm still trying to figure out what bastard drew me back here.
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