Sunday, April 16, 2006

Biscuits and mustard

It is rumored that a sign of extreme intelligence is inconsistent blogging.

Happy Easter.

And Happy Tax Day.

My weekend consisted of a barbecue, Emily's and my birthday party, a St. Louis Cardinals game and a discussion of how to make good Easter ham.

You know, the clove industry MUST love Jesus. During Christmas and Easter, the two "ham holidays," the clove companies make their money... and hopefully put some in the bank because dammit, clove sales aren't that great in July. Is there any other use for them besides sticking them in hams and smoking them in cigarettes? What do you call a person who makes their living processing cloves... a clover? If so, I feel for the clovers, goddamn it, because they probably have to go on welfare most of the year.

Viva la clovers.

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Friday night, we had a twenty-person, complete ass-kicking birthday party, which consisted of a stop at a sports bar, a comedy club, and the strip clubs. The bummer is, even though it was OUR party, Emily and I left early and never made it to the strip clubs... but I heard that one of the wives (and you know who you are because your nipples are probably still hard) got her first personal dance. I LOVE it that all women are closet lesbians!

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Every once in a while a great baseball game happens and you know you'll never forget being there. The Easter day Cardinals game at Busch stadium was one of those. Much gratitude to Mike Cornett for the tickets, they were a birthday gift for Em and I. The really shitty part is, she had family obligations and couldn't go with me... and missed probably the most amazing game of the season.

And I STILL get the feeling it will somehow end up being my fault.

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Does anyone else owe the IRS this year? If so, how much? Bet I gotcha beat.

Screw you, Uncle Sam, you life-sucking, greedy, prehensile PRICK.


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EDIT: I should point out that my birthday isn't until April 27, it was celebrated early so the party could be split between two people in the "group."

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

you mean to tell me she didn't go. that's not right. Em you are in so much trouble. Next time Dave gets the tickets and not both of you..

Mike C.

Hope you had a good time Dave.

StringMan said...

My one time in Busch Stadium was back in the mid-80s, early in the season, Mets-Cards, and I caught a foul ball on the first base side. My one and only. This is the first tax day in at least 10 years that I get money back. I should, because they sucked it all out of me during the year!

Mishka said...

Do you pay taxes throughout the year or just at the end since you work basically for yourself?

We didn't owe but we also have them take a lot out during the year...I guess we could save it ourselves and make some money off it but I like getting that big check every year...haha.

Sounds like you had a great Easter weekend. We didn't do much, and I missed coloring eggs this year...will have to boil some up just so I can make egg salad or something.

Another inquiry...do cloves (the spice) come from the clove flower (four leaf clover), or are they two totally different but similarly named things?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear lord. I'm so sorry about being late with these wishes for your birthday, Dave. Sounds like you had a great time though. Many more, bruthah.

I don't do cloves - bleh. If clove pickers aren't clovers, could they be clovists?
(now fighting images of a dumb blond misunderstanding the recipe and sticking three-leaf clovers into her ham before baking)

Glad you were able to take in some good baseball too! Sounds like a nice birthday/Easter weekend.

Weary Hag said...

Hey! That was me up there... how come it didn't want my blog info? Feeling offended now.

Weary Hag

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Don't you just love it when women climb the pole? Heh.

Amandarama said...

Happy early birthday!

Bummer about the IRS. I'm psyched I'm actually getting money back for once.

CP said...

I am an out of the closet lesbian who IS getting money back.

I think that makes me pretty fucking desirable.

CP.

Dr. Mike said...

If inconsistent blogging is extreme intelligence, I'm a freakin GENIUS!!

That picture of the cloves looks like poop. Don't be putting poop on your ham, Dave, it won't be good.

GLAD I COULD BE PART OF THE BDAY PARTY FRIDAY. RAH RAH!! GIMME ANOTHER ONE OF THINGS DAVE WAS DRINKING.. and run like hell!

I don't owe the IRS anything because I took a loss for the 13th year in a row. Maybe I should bag my job as an "entertainer!"

PS: Dave you suck, you old CSPSMFGFNSDSOAB!! (figure it out)

Diana said...

Of course it was your fault.... ;o) Someone else has to be at fault besides me, because it WAS my fault Mike had family obligations too and couldn't go in the first place.

Chris Cope said...

Are you a communist? If you were AMERICAN you would be enjoying clove ice cream on the Fourth of July, like the rest of us. And what's Flag Day without clove brownies?

Raynwomaan said...

I went to a Baseball game Saturday night. We took the kids, 'cause there was supposed to be fireworks. The fire dept. "postponed" (read: cancelled) the fireworks because of 'high winds', and I think I was the only in my little family who *wasn't* disappointed. I was watching the game, and I *loved* it! Crazy, isn't it, that it's taken me nearly 30 years to realize that I love Baseball. And the Redbirds won, yay! Of course, they're doing not-so-well, but they won THAT game. The game that we paid money to see. Of course, I'd have enjoyed it nearly as much if the Royals had won, 'cause I'm just weird enough to cheer for anyone who does well. :)

Lee Ann said...

I am thinking of a birthday present for you Dave....you will see!

It's Me, Maven... said...

Cloves also have anesthetic qualities to them. If you have a toothache... suck on a clove or two and then bite down on it for a few minutes. The pain will dissipate. You can get clove oil for that too, and use it like you would for ambesol.

I hope this helps:)