Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Baseball


If there is anything that comes close to bringing an atheist into the 'flock', it's baseball.

First, let's agree that it's a game of physics. If you're looking for a way to teach physics to a kid, use baseball. It's a game of millimeters. With a pretty small bat and that tiny ball, the slightest adjustment of aim results in a vast change in elevation. The smallest adjustment of force makes the difference between the ball finding the glove of the shortstop, or the bleachers in the outfield.

Two people come to mind who can vouch for that tiny margin of error: Neil Armstrong and Clayton Kershaw.

Today, as the Los Angeles Dodgers fly home, the victims of what from the outside seems like the 'team of destiny' St. Louis Cardinals, they are undoubtedly overlooking those physical laws. They are more likely thinking of a superstar named Puig, and the biggest meltdown of his career. They are considering the inability of Cy Young winner Clayton Kershaw to fool men named Matt. The befuddled Dodgers are thinking of goats, curses, and gods.

They fail to consider that the air was still warm when Matt Adams came to bat - a ball carries further in warm air than cool. They are not thinking about the trajectory of the bat, or the exact position of the pitch, or the force of the swing. They are thinking that Matt Adams has Kershaw's number, or that Kershaw is somehow vexed by Busch Stadium. Maybe there is some kind of seventh inning curse, a point at which it becomes impossible to rein in the Cardinals. Maybe they think the Cardinals, with the fewest homers in the National League, was due to somehow right a cosmic imbalance.

Surely that's all wrong, because there's no circumventing natural law. The Los Angeles Dodgers lost plain and simple, because of physics. Right?

Maybe. There is a compelling argument that most Cardinals fans (the most hated in baseball) understand well. It goes something like this: When September rolls around, in the House that Stan Built, laws of physics take a back seat to things like heart, hope, teamwork, and destiny. That men like Big City can swing bats in a special way and move the ball with more than just physics. That a strange bond extends between players, lending support... unseen and mysterious.

Fans of the Cardinals know that on cold nights far away from home, before an unfriendly crowd, with backs against the wall, down to a final out, even a final strike, and against all known laws of physics, something more is afoot. Something that pushes the ball a little farther and deeper than physics would dictate. It's almost as if a piece of Curt Flood, Stan Musial, Ozzie Smith, "Mad Dash" Slaughter, Dizzy Dean, Bob Gibson and others become transplanted into whatever ragtag hero stands at the plate.

The Cardinals have had plenty of failures, but in the most unlikely of circumstances, and against the greatest of odds, they've surprised, shocked, and silenced their most ardent critics. They have rendered speechless the Brewers faithful, fans of the Cubs, and haters who are just gonna hate. They dig deep and find a way. One might think it's more than physics. It's soul.

Another set of natural rules that gets tossed aside this time of year - mathematics. Sometimes 235 million dollars in payroll means nothing. Baseball's post-season stage is the great equalizer, where players like David Freese, Clayton Kershaw, David Eckstein, Albert Pujols, Kolten Wong, Adrian Gonzales, and pick-any-KC-Royal, stand on even ground. Where a soul, a spirit, and an attitude surpass any and all monetary advantage.

Natural laws are real, there's no debate. But, on one warm night at Busch Stadium, with Big City's mighty swing of the bat, maybe the temperature didn't matter. Maybe the bat's trajectory wasn't so important. Maybe grit won out over gravity. Intuition beat inertia. Spirit overcame substance.

Maybe that inch beyond the wall was as good as a mile. It's enough to make you wonder.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

MLB players, ownership completely out of touch

Former Milwaukee Brewers phenom C.C. Sabathia nailed down the most lucrative contract ever for a major league pitcher. He'll be playing next year for the... you guessed it, New York Yankees, for a whopping 23 mil a year, under a total contract of 161 million for seven years.

Meanwhile the fans are wondering if they'll have a job tomorrow. Many of them have already lost one.

I'm a huge fan of baseball and capitalism, but the timing of this deal couldn't have been worse. New jobless claims are at the highest level in 34 years and people are struggling to find ways to pay their mortgage. How, then, will they pay a higher price for baseball tickets?

Look, when most CEOs are making substantially less than many baseball players and are being excoriated for their greed and ineffectiveness, paid huge sums of money while the consumer absorbs the shock, I wonder what color of lipstick MLB will use to dress up this pig.

This is a high, inside pitch to baseball fans. Somebody should warn the pitcher before the benches clear.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Femme Fantasy Football

Emily is involved in a fantasy football league.

I'll let that sink in.

...(checking my watch, drumming fingers, hum dee dum)...................

Okay, so this morning we're sitting at the Rendezvous having coffee and we're trying to think of an acceptable team name. Some of the ideas I contributed (which were all declined):

The Fighting Tampons
The Tight Ends
The Girth Seekers

See, it's just hard for me to wrap my mind around a female fantasy football league without the crude references.

So any ideas for Emily's team name? Do tell.

Friday, August 22, 2008

For those keeping track

Olympic medal count courtesy of the NY Times. There is a natural advantage for the home country, but China is doing substantially better this year (in medal count and total # of gold) than anytime in modern history.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Just as I feared...

Violet is an Olympics watcher. Actually I don't mind so much, it's kind of interesting.

But beach volleyball? Really?

I understand the fascination with Misty May... but c'mon.

And whatever happened to the discus? This is something I can relate to, considering I'm an ace frisbee thrower. It's the same thing, right?*

Why not billiards? Darts? Bowling? (and subsequently, the pitcher-beer-slam.)

Beer pong? Quarters? Hello? Let's make this fun.

Scrabble? I could totally kick some ass. Gold medal for Dave.






*I know, I know. Frisbee is to discus as snorkeling is to deep sea diving.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

You know what grinds my gears?

The Olympics are an obnoxious, monumental waste of money.

I wonder how many lives could be positively affected by the money China will spend hosting the Olympics this year. Estimates put the figure at around forty billion dollars.* Imagine that. As a race, would we really rather spend that money on a garish, gaudy, wasteful display than help feed or heal those in need?

Does anyone really care about the Olympics, anyway? Isn't it really just a dated, steroid-strewn path to the front of the Wheaties box? Television ratings are generally fairly low... it's amazing that NBC can afford to pay billions just for the right to cover the events.

I say keep the Olympics but conduct them in existing facilities. Make them about sports and national pride, not buildings and audacious displays of pretension.

And why not give out pyrite medals?


*The Iraq war costs more than twice that every year. Imagine that, too.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

When what to my wandering eyes should appear?

We were watching the Yankees/Red Sox game today and the camera caught the umpire at a most inopportune moment.


If you look more closely, you can see the crack sweat.


He should have worn depends, I guess. Isn't crack sweat the worst fashion faux pas?

Friday, July 04, 2008

America retains the title!!!!

Mesmerizing.

Em and I just watched the 2008 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest on ESPN. Totally tubular!

In the first year, (1988) it took only 12 dogs to set the record. In 2007, Joey Chestnut set a record at 66. This year, including a tie-breaking five unit dog-off, 64 were eaten.

I'll be honest, it's completely disgusting... and a bit ostentatious, considering people are starving in some parts of the world... but a great American tradition nonetheless. (and the look on Em's face during the competition was priceless)

It begs the question, would a gay man have an unfair advantage?

Friday, August 10, 2007

Wilt thou?

Over 100-degree highs for the forseeable future. Oh, sure - they say by next Thursday we may dip down into the low 90's, but weather guys are about as reliable as coal mine operators.

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On the weekend schedule, we're headed to a St. Louis Cardinals game tomorrow, where game-time temperatures will be around 100 and humidity will make it feel like 110. If our seats are in the sun, we might just head down the street to Mike Shannon's restaurant, sit at the bar and watch the game in high def. Three or four dirty martinis with bleu cheese olives will make me think I'm still at the game.

Plus, they are about the same price as a small beer at the ball park. I'd make that trade all day, every day!

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I love painting. And when I say "love," I'm really saying "never ending hate." This Sunday I will be painting my office. That is, if the searing pain in my lower back subsides.

I can lift 50 pound bags of potting soil, dog food or whatever all day, then lean over to pick up a sandwich and be out of commission for a friggin' week. Back problems are a recurring thing for me... much like marriage, only less expensive and I don't end up hating my back and thinking of ways to exact revenge upon it.

Oddly enough, I originally injured my back loading my stereo up when I got divorced the first time. I find that kind of funny!

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Irony: Writing your final child support check on July 19, and finding out you are having a new baby exactly one week later.

My favorite thing in life is being a father. I've gotten more satisfaction and enjoyment from it than everything else in my life combined. I can't wait for April 6th!

But it's still ironic.

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Tivo is an amazing tool. It has done more for television than anything else I can think of for the past 30 years. We are definitely a Tivo household... we have four. Tivo is my crack.

Do you have Tivo? If so, do you ever find yourself catching a glimpse of a chick in a bikini as you fast-forward through a commercial break, then actually scan back through the commercials to get a look?

Yeah, me neither.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

A picture says a thousand words...

So FIVE pictures would be, like... um. Well anyway, I was never good at math.

Car air conditioners have changed a lot through the years. Apparently this is the latest incarnation. When we were returning from a night out recently, we stopped for gas in a sort of bad part of town. It proved to be a rich stop for us.

A closer look shows that the guy apparently didn't want anyone to steal his AC. He's installed the newest security and locking system.

We attended the boxing matches last night, and included was a righteous chick fight. These girls turned it on from bell to bell without letting up. Notice the picture is blurry. That's how fast they were moving. That, or the beer I was drinking affected my photography prowess.

Naw, they were moving fast.

Token photo from the dude fight. Nobody really wants to see it anyway, so we'll move on.

For Sale: One slightly used Sprint PocketPC. All documentation, charging base, original box included. It was only driven to church on Sundays. If you'd like to buy it, email me.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Comment-airy

Barry Bombs is one HR away from tying Hank's home-run total. He will then set a new record, I'm sure.

So f-in' what?

Barry Bonds is a cheat. So was Mark McGwire and a litany of other players who "juiced." (or currently juice) This is a non-event, and the more press it gets, the more troubled I get.

I think he should be recognized with a standing ovation when it happens (in the event he really DID set the record honorably and honestly) and that's it. He deserves no more, no less.

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"Aquafina... from some of the finest bathtub spigots in Milwaukee!" (How do you like my new slogan idea?)

It was revealed this week that Pepsi has been selling customers bottled water from "public water sources."

Shocking!

Americans, being the gullible bunch we are, believe water from a plastic bottle is better, cleaner, healthier... than that which is consumed from the tap. Common sense (and countless and constant health department tests) would indicate we're really, really stupid for believing that.

We bitch about $2.67 per gallon gas (my neighborhood price today) but we'll fork over 20 bucks a gallon for Fiji water because it has a fancy-shmancy square bottle and a picture of a mountain on the front.

When I leave the coffee shop this morning, I will go to QT. I will purchase a large bottle of Fiji. I will pour it down the sink and replace it with tap water. I will drink that tap water from the Fiji bottle. I will repeat that process over and over until the bottle wears out. I will look cool, rich and smart.

Which is the real reason Americans buy bottled water.

Want a sip?

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We're selling $20 billion in advanced weaponry to the Saudis?

STFU. You gotta be kidding me.

We never, ever learn. Ever. Stupidest, most forgetful people on Earth. Instead of making major moves to curb dependence on oil, we continue to coddle these backward MFs and dragging our feet on nuclear energy and the research of alternatives.

Nero fiddles while Rome burns.

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It's studio remodel time, so I'm headed to Home Depot to buy a door, a lighting fixture, some paint and all that junk. I'll take photos.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

You can take the kid out of the hood...

Michael Vick is a jagoff.

He's also the Atlanta Falcon's star quarterback. He's also up dog-shit creek.

Read the story - it'll make you feel like puking, especially if you're a dog lover.

Throw the book at him. Put him in prison, where he belongs... he's a scumbag.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Bezball been beddy beddy good to me

We went to the Cardinals/Angels game last night, an affair which we lost 9-6, but before which we tailgated mightily... as shown below.

Diana & Mike (the Cornetts) and Emily are caught in a natural, non-pose moment. They had no idea I was snapping this picture.


In this picture, we're sitting on the sidewalk in front of the new stadium. Behind us, some of St. Louis' natural fauna - weeds that are actually growing out of the cracks in the sidewalk.



Ah, memories of tailgating in years past. I was watering a bush during the 2005 season when Dr. Mike caught me in a candid moment. Bastard.

And now, we're piling in the car to head to Warsaw for my 25th HS class reunion. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and catching up. I told Emily she can go with me to my reunion, but I won't be going to hers. I can hear it now: "Hey, who's the old guy?"

Have a great weekend!

Monday, April 30, 2007

"It goes on." - Robert Frost

Cardinal Nation lost one of it's best sons this past weekend, pitcher Josh Hancock. He was killed in a car crash just a little less than five years after the death of another Cardinals pitcher, Darryl Kile. Josh was 29, and an integral part of our team. He had no family here - fans, friends and teammates were his family.

Incredible grief for the team, the fans and the city of St. Louis.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Monday night

Violet and I went for a nice walk in the park this evening, (and that was no walk in the park!) then cooked up some shish-kabobs on the grill. Shrimp, scallops, peppers, onions, mushrooms, pineapple and squash, along with a baked potato and glass of wine.


Now we're finishing the wine in front of the television watching some baseball. It feels like summer!

I am wearing socks because my toenail paint is chipping badly.

Yesterday we did some major tailgating outside Busch stadium prior to the Cardinals/Brewers game. Burgers and KOSHER weiners on the grill, along with beer and/or soda. Okay, really only beer... and don't ask me why Dr. Mike and Paula brought kosher weiners - none of us are even Hindu.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Vacation - Day Four

(Dateline - Vero Beach, FL - Los Angeles Dodgertown Stadium)


"Mr. Pujols! You promised me an autograph."

Hunter, this cute little third-grader who was sitting next to me at the game shouted politely as Cardinals first baseman and perennial all star Albert Pujols walked past our front row seats at the Cards/Dodgers spring training game.


Albert looked over, recognized Hunter and walked over to keep his promise. The game was going on, but he had been pulled and sent to the locker room... we were ahead 6-0. So as he walked by us ready to call it a night, he made time to sign Hunter's Albert Pujols rookie card and probably 150 other autographs as people gathered for a glimpse and a souvenir. Albert didn't disappoint, he knows that fans are the reason the game is played. Some baseball players have forgotten that.

It made me a Pujols fan all over again. He stood there for a long time, even while the game was being played and balls were flying around us.


We had amazing seats, just beyond 1st base in the front row. Cards won 13-0. We had more fans at the game than the Dodgers did. I wasn't too surprised.

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After the game, we looked around for a restaurant by the water. They are surprisingly hard to find... the property is taken up by expensive beach-front houses and condos. We ended up at a place called South Beach Grille, which was about to close but the chef/manager came out and begged us to stay. They whipped us up steak, tilapia and amazing scallops... and combined with a dirty martini and a glass of Smoked Loon Pinot Noir, it was a great way to top off the night.

As we arrived back at the hotel, there were some fellow Cards fans sitting outside their rooms on the balcony partying. We were too tired to join in - we ended up crashing. Today we're headed to South Beach for more rays.

I hope I can keep the sand out of my trunks.