C-R-S, Day Three - Laying Further Waste to a City

(Nashville, TN) - More of the city's defenses were broken down last night, as Violet and I infiltrated Ruth's Chris Steakhouse with friends (l-r) Dave, me, Emily, Kim, Jeff and Billy. I tore up a perfectly good NY strip steak and killed a poor, defenseless lobster.

Then, with bellies full and livers working overtime, we headed over to a private concert and mixer with Keith Urban. He is fresh off a stint in rehab and doing really well. I can't imagine a life on the road and the challenges it presents, but Keith is a great guy and he'll be fine. I'm really proud of him. Besides, he's married to freakin' Nicole Kidman.

I've mentioned that Nashville now has a smoking ban in effect, and all around our hotel there are signs that sell the virtues of something called Nicogel - a hand gel which contains nicotine... rub it on and get your fix. I've certainly "milked" the whole concept of killing two birds with one stone by masturbating with it. Problem is, you'd really want to follow that up with a cigarette.

Morris... out.