C-R-S, Day Three - Laying Further Waste to a City

(Nashville, TN) - More of the city's defenses were broken down last night, as Violet and I infiltrated Ruth's Chris Steakhouse with friends (l-r) Dave, me, Emily, Kim, Jeff and Billy. I tore up a perfectly good NY strip steak and killed a poor, defenseless lobster.

Then, with bellies full and livers working overtime, we headed over to a private concert and mixer with Keith Urban. He is fresh off a stint in rehab and doing really well. I can't imagine a life on the road and the challenges it presents, but Keith is a great guy and he'll be fine. I'm really proud of him. Besides, he's married to freakin' Nicole Kidman.

I've mentioned that Nashville now has a smoking ban in effect, and all around our hotel there are signs that sell the virtues of something called Nicogel - a hand gel which contains nicotine... rub it on and get your fix. I've certainly "milked" the whole concept of killing two birds with one stone by masturbating with it. Problem is, you'd really want to follow that up with a cigarette.

Morris... out.

C-R-S, Day Two - Laying Waste To A City

Day TWO in Nashville went well - and by "well," I mean my bar tab was under $200 for the second consecutive day. Lots of old record reps and friends are doing the buying this year, and I can't pretend to be disappointed.

Here is Violet with one of her favorite artists, Jewel. Yeah, she's a pop star, but she's big into country music, and is an amazing writer.

A country songwriter friend of mine... we'll just call him "Wynn" (because that's his name)... told me a story last night about his first writing collaboration with Jewel. "I shit myself," he said. My reply, "I'll bet you did, it must be cool to write with Jewel."

"No, I actually shit myself. I 'sharted' right then and there - had to go change my pants." You have to know Wynn to realize how hilarious this story is.

Violet and me at the Bridge Bar. Others in the bar at the time were... Toby Keith, Jake Owen, some of Chris LeDoux's old band... and this dude.

Yeah. THE Geico caveman. His words to me, "it's so easy, even a voiceover guy can do it." That smart-ass bastard...

I'll check back in with further updates as the situation warrants. Tonight we hang out with Keith Urban, Gretchen Wilson and a few others to be named later.

Hey Radio Randy, email me so we can hook up, it would be a shame not to have coffee when we're in the same town...