Here's a rough outline of my day.
8:00 am - Woke to sunshine in my face after getting to bed about 4 hours earlier. F*ck me.
9:00 am - Got up and took panties off my head. Wondered whose they were. So did Violet. Did I get them during last night's visit to the casino? The bar? The other bar? The third bar? And why do they say "Garanimals" on them?
10:00 am - Arrived at the coffee shop for my traditional morning venti latte with skim milk. Realized that their tradition of being closed on holidays trumps all of my traditions. Goddamn it.
10:10 am - Watched several Tivo Star Trek episodes from TV Land's recent marathon. Fantasized that I was Captain Kirk. Tried to show Violet what I call "the captain's log." Denied again. Sonofabitch.
12:00 pm - showered and prepared myself to meet Vi's family.
2:00 pm - (So it was a long shower. Sue me, it's a freakin' holiday) Arrived at Gramma Wilma's house. Nice house, great spread of food, cozy family atmosphere. Everything a guy could want on a holiday like this. The family's relatively low level of dysfunction made me look like Charlie Manson.
3:00 pm - Played word game called "Catch Phrase." Blurted out inappropriate answers with unacceptable timing and volume. Sealed the family's hatred of me.
6:00 pm - Exited my tryptophan coma, got in the car and drove to Mike and Paula's. Enjoyed more dessert, drank about 12 "Shreks" (50/50 mix of Red Bull and UV Blue Vodka, which makes a most interesting green color and causes you to both buzz and vibrate at the same time) and proceeded to kick everyone's ass in poker. And of course, by "kick everyone's ass," I mean lose my entry fee and drop out early. Chris, you cheating beeotch.
2:00 am - (Hey, it was a long poker game) Sat around as another Thanksgiving passed, talked about how blessed we are to have such amazing friends, and disussed the vacations, camping trips and barbecues we will be enjoying in 2007.
I have so many reasons to be thankful. I can't remember a time in my life that I've been happier. My prayer is that you feel the same.