Wednesday, November 01, 2006

"I HATE that Bob Barker..." - Happy Gilmore

So Bob Barker is about to retire. Spay and neuter rates will drop instantly, Johnny Olson's (died in 1985, God rest his soul) contribution to pop culture, "Come On Down!", will pretty much be a thing of the past.

Trivia: Johnny Olson was the first Price is Right announcer until his death in 1985. Then Rod Roddy died in 2003 while he was the show's announcer. There must have been radiation or some sort of poison in the announcer booth at that goddamn show. (Note to self - have my recording booth sanitized, and get a geiger counter.)
Bob Barker is 82, so it's only right that he takes some time to relax and enjoy life. He's been hugged by more women (and has grabbed more handfuls of breasts) than anyone in the history of television.

I won't miss that long pointy microphone he uses, but I WILL miss him. I met him once, he's a really nice guy.

It's okay if the show continues, but I won't be watching.*

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Quote overheard at the table next to me (just now) at the cofffee house:

"I think that is SOOOO hot!"

It's a table of 30-something women in their suburban mommy-wear, sipping coffee.

As a guy, by default and by no choice of my own, I'm interested in hearing what they think is so hot. They begin whispering amongst themselves at a level I can't quite hear. I strain, but... nothing.

Finally one turns to the barista. "Bob, how hot do you make this coffee?"

Boy, that was disappointing.

---

I am experiencing PWSD. Post-World Series depression. My team won it all, which was totally sweet. But now, what? No more baseball. Only the hot-stove league.

Ho hum.

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An exerpt of a conversation last night with Violet:

V: "Tomatoes have a lot of antioxidants. So does chocolate."

D: "You know, I never liked my Auntie Oxidant. Uncle Oxidant, well, he was okay."

V: "That was pretty stupid."

D: "Yeah, this whole conversation was an oxidant waiting to happen."

So I looked up "uncle oxidant" on Google. I'm only the second person in the world who has used that phrase. (at least on the internet) "Oxidant waiting to happen" has appeared only FOUR times.

So either I am a genius for being inventive, or an idiot.

I prefer to think I'm an idiot... it draws less attention.

---

I am back to blogging. I took some time off to organize my life and get some things accomplished.

Well I suppose I'm a little better organized, but I'm not sure how much I've accomplished. I DID realize that I was happier and felt more productive when I was writing regularly.

So I'm back. Welcome to my life. Sorry about the mess.**



* I always thought those people who bid $1 should be stricken with massive, crippling gas.

** A great song hook by the Well Hungarians. Pretty much sums up my situation.

12 comments:

Chicken said...

Welcome back!

Mishka said...

Great to see you back on the blogging wagon and you are just as good as always...my first laugh of the morning (at least from a blog).

Anonymous said...

Looks like we took some time off right around the same time. I'm glad we're both back. :-)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Big Daddy Dave. You're back. I'm glad.

You're a genius alright.

I had something similar happen to me LAST NIGHT. I just bought my first Mac. Last night I thought of a cool, new phrase I was going to insert into my blog: The Macintosh Mafia.

It was too cute. So I searched the phrase. Lo and behold, several hits returned. Somebody beat me to the punch, which I suspected. It's just too obvious.

But I'm still a proud member of the Mac Mafia.

Lee Ann said...

I have taken some time off of blogging as well. Still not back full swing.

Welcome back, and...YAY for Cardinals!

Anonymous said...

First of all, the whole genius/idiot question? These are not mutually exclusive. You are living proof. Secondly, serves you right for eavesdropping. Thirdly, welcome back to your blog. It missed you.

Violet said...

You know, I don't think an exact quote was "That was pretty stupid."

I think that there was some actual conversation that was happening there and we both agreed on the cheesiness and stupidity factor.

You make me look like I'm so mean when we both know that you are the mean one!!!

XOXOX...

LEE ANN said...

I know it has been a while, but....
Happy HNT!
~xo

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back, Dave!

What is the deal with Bob's microphone? Everyone uses a wireless mic these days.

It's Me, Maven... said...

See if you were to visit the far east, it would still be grammatically correct to refer to one's self as an Occident Waiting to Happen...

Oxidant...Accident...Occident...I don't care if it's douchey to spell it out.:)

Glad to see you're back!!

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Welcome Back! Glad I checked to see if you were around today.

It's Me, Maven... said...

PS: That's not a microphone that fogey has been posturing with for the last X-many decades... It looks suspiciously like this:

http://www.nawtythings.com/toys/se2099-12.html