Friday, August 25, 2006

Why

Why is the plural of medley actually 'medleys...' but the singular of calories is 'calorie?' Who came up with these spellings, a third grader?

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Why don't speeding tickets come with two check boxes -

A: You speed, you pay a small fine.
B: You "buy down" the speeding to a non-moving violation and pay a larger fine.

We could totally take those miscreant attorneys (and why isn't it spelled 'attornies'?) out of the equation and leave them to deal with the REAL issues... like frivolous misuse of the court system by gold-digging former spouses.

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Why doesn't Google stop hosting Blogger on a Dell laptop with a flaming battery? Blogger SUCKS. I'm not even sure if what I'm writing now will even get published. And frankly, maybe that would be for the best.

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Why would they even need to say that Pluto is not a planet? Hello?!? How obvious!

Next, they will feel the need to say that Donald Duck isn't a cherry-limeade from Sonic. Duh, he's a duck.



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Why can't they come up with a more creative name for an orange? Who even thought of naming a fruit after its color?

We never say "I love to drink 'purple' juice." Or, "hey, that 'yellow' is shaped like a penis." No, of course not.

New name for an orange: boobfruit. Most of them are about that size. (but hopefully not that color)

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Why do I continue blogging, when I can't come up with anything more creative than this shit?

12 comments:

Lou P. said...

There might be confusion with oranges and cantaloupes if the name Boobfruit entered the lexicon.

When I think of a drink being referred to as "the purple stuff", it makes me think of an old Sunny Delight commercial for some reason.

Amandarama said...

Yeah. Blogger/Google has been majorly bugging me of late too. It completely shit the bed a couple nights ago when I was trying to upload photos.

I just upgraded to the Beta. I don't know if that is going to make it better or worse.

Oh, and favorite fruit name? Jackfruit.

Chicken said...

Creative enough for me. I need that.

It's Me, Maven... said...

My favorite fruit (to say) is: Kumquat.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Boobfruit? That is so not true. Mine are bigger than an orange. It would be a more appropriate name for grapefruit. And what's up with that name anyway?

greeny said...

Even in your less-than-creative moments, you are still funny as hell and you know it.

Shoshana said...

Really, you have yellow penis? LOL

It's the English people. Look at "lead" it's from "I'll follow you..." or "you'll die of my poisoing."

I am a non-english speaker and it boggles my mind everytime.

ned Wilkinson said...

At least you're a multiple-topic blogger. I haven't been able to rise to that level yet.

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Even when I'm in a blogging slump myself, I always come to yours.

Oh, and I have grapefruits, not oranges thank you very much. ;-)

OneHungMan said...

OneHung is with you, Blogger sucks. Thanks for visiting the OneHung blog.

Since it seemed to be question day on your blog, OneHung decided to play along:

The past tense of fly is flew, but in baseball, you didn't flew out to right field, you flied out to right field...why?

Birdy is spelled birdie in golf...why?

Why does I come before E except after C? Who created that crap, and why didn't they tell Einstein who has it wrong twice in his name?

Michelle O'Neil said...

Very funny post. The kids would call it "random."

P.S. Some boobs are the size of a full grown man.

Video X said...

I have always had an issue with the tense thing. Seems easier in some other languages. I have a horrible habit of saying squeeze squoze and squozen insted of sqeeze squeezed and squeezed. I try to avoid the word at all costs.