Tuesday, August 22, 2006

$8.50

That's how much it cost to watch one of the cheesiest, most predictable movies I've ever seen. It was SO bad, it HAD to be intentional - if not, wow.

Snakes on a Plane.

Yeah, I succumbed to the hype.

Samuel L. Jackson is a master thespian, as far as B actors are concerned. During the course of the movie, I found myself laughing when nothing was supposed to be funny. People died, I guffawed. As snakes climbed down people's windpipes, or bit guys on the end of their peni, (is that plural for penis?) I could do little more than giggle. The gratuitous sex scene (mile high club, of course) included a snake biting a girl on the boob. (naturally) I kept expecting Jackson to go down into the cargo hold and discover a cage full of mongeese, (plural for mongooses?) which would lay waste to the reptilian marauders. No, instead...

(spoiler alert)

He tied everyone down to their seats, then shot out the plane windows to suck out the snakes.

Then, after both pilots died, (how predictable is that?) a passenger landed the plane based on his experience with a Sony Playstation.

I've had it with these MF-ing bad movies in our MF-ing theaters. I wonder what else I could have bought for $8.50.

Click here, it's a personalized message from Samuel L. Jackson to me. I feel so very special.

You can personalize and send one (via email or phone call) to whomever you want. Just go to www.snakesonaplane.com.

10 comments:

Amandarama said...

I liked it. But, I saw it for free so I didn't feel like I lost anything by going. And our audience was drunk and rowdy. I think that helped.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Yep, I didn't see it and still don't understand what all the excitement and hype is about.

Mishka said...

Netflix my friend, netflix...I haven't been in a movie theatre in over 2 years and before that I would only go to the second run ones because I think the crowds, prices and overall customer service suck!!!

It's Me, Maven... said...

Oy! Thanks for the review and a head's up... IMHO the trailers are chock full of nothing but cheeze.

CP said...

I spent WAY too long playing with this site.

I will spend NO time seeing that movie.

CP.

gary said...

I'm sorry...I'm just trying to invison the senerio in which you're sitting around....decide to go see a movie...and think...Hmmmm...."Snakes on a Plane" sounds good....think I'll see that!
I mean...HELLO...Dave...it's about Snakes....on a PLANE!!! Knock Konck...anybody home!!!

Sorry if that sounded sarcastic...wait...no I'm not...well maybe a litt....no, no...not even a little!!!



What were you THINKING man????

The Doggy Did It said...

Yeah, I called that one right from the start...The title kinda gave it away eh?

Hey...were there any snakes on that plane???

It's Me, Maven... said...

I think Samuel L. Jackson is playing with his career... it just seems too lame of a concept. Perhaps this will turn into one of those cult classics like "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," or "The Blob." Who knows.

This comment is sponsored by the letters: skemhp

Lou Pickney said...

Promotion for this movie was insane. Luckily, thanks to word-of-mouth, I heard about how B-rate the movie came across.

mckay said...

i thought the voice mail /email promo was quite funny. i sent a few last week.

i wouldn't go see the movie, though, unless i was dating someone who really wanted to see it, then i might just have to question my choice of dates ;0).

what i really want to see is Invincible, with Mark Walberg. i love those 'Rudy' 'Hoosiers' type of feel good sports flick.