Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Brain Bouillabaisse

Dog-lover disclaimer: What you are about to read is disturbing.

Only a few miles from my house, a story unraveled that could only be described as "knuckle dragger meets genetic accident."

A woman, (knuckle-dragger) upset from being sold a puppy that might not have been full-breed chihuahua, apparently went to the seller's (genetic accident) house, and when she opened the door, began beating the seller over the head.

With the (now-dead) puppy.

Story link

Is it really necessary to pummel someone's head with the Taco Bell mascot?

I suppose the victim should feel fortunate she doesn't breed the English Mastiff.*

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Sign in an office that caught my eye recently:

There will be only one of you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.

I like that.

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I don't understand the violence connected with soccer. Hooligans, listen to me. Your "boys" wear knee socks. Calm the hell down.

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I told you this was a bad idea.

New info coming out recently says that Katrina victims used those $2000 FEMA debit cards to pay attorneys, buy football season tickets, Hawaiian vacations, and get a SEX CHANGE operation.

People wonder why big government is a bad idea? Because government will screw up anything it touches, and your money pays to glue a schlong on a chick.

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Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW, what a ride!"
Anonymous


*The English Mastiff holds the record for world's largest dog, weighing in at 300 pounds.

12 comments:

❉ pixie ❉ said...

I feel so smart. Almost everything you mentioned in this post (except the sign which I adore) I already knew about.

Blogarita said...

Now, really...would it have been any better if the chihuahua had still been alive?

Fantastagirl said...

Don't you wonder what in the heck possed her to do such a moronic thing?

I like that sign...

FEMA - this just goes to prove stupidty has no social or economic boundaries.

paula said...

I know its probably wrong....but when I saw that story on the news I freaking laughed so hard I almost wet myself ( not that its hard to do being almost 9 months pregnant).

I just did it again reading it for the second time on your blog....

Eve said...

What in the FUCK?

I hadn't heard that one yet.

That's just gross and twisted...

Weary Hag said...

Okay okay, so I haven't been here in ages, but with good reason. I totally love the new look of the place (it looks vaguely familiar)!

Hadn't read the story about the lady with the dog ... a good one.
The FEMA credit card mess was totally predictable, as you stated.

Love the sign! BUT BUT BUT ... my favorite entry on this post is your little blurb about soccer. That was EXCELLENT, my friend.

Lee Ann said...

Wow, that poor puppy and victim. I was completely horrified as I was reading it, but for some strange reason...when I read "Hopfer drove away waving the dead Chihuahua out her sunroof before police arrived.", I busted out laughing.
How strange, simply unbelievable!

I like that too There will be only one of you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.

mcBlogger said...

I read that with a look on my face that could only be described as horror and hilarity combined together. Sweet Jebus, people are weird!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"...schlong on a chick." Oh, I wish I had written that.

Somehow reminds me of corn dogs.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Great post, Dave. I loved the points about the soccer fans and big government.

CP said...

According to my ex husband, "I" am the largest dog alive.

This coming from the worlds biggest pussy...*meow*

I like the new look, Dave.

CP.

It's Me, Maven... said...

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