The Baby!

He's only about five weeks away, and we're down to the "brass tacks" of preparation.

Em's friends Paula and Carrie, her mother and sister threw a supremely awesome baby shower last weekend, during which my water broke.

I guess I should explain. (not the part about me being at the baby shower in the first place, but about my water breaking) Each person was given a drink with an ice cube that contained a small plastic baby. Whoever's baby thawed out of its cube first had to shout "my water broke!" I won some moisturizer and lip balm. I promptly donated it back to the cause... which was really stupid because my lips are chapped like a beyotch.

We have the world's greatest family and friends, who gave us almost everything we had registered for at Babys'R'Us. (I told Em we should have registered in the Best Buy plasma HD flat-screen department) We are now busy trying to find a place to store it all.

So, at this point the nursery is pretty much finished and ready for Sparky's arrival:


We had our friend's mother paint some pictures on his walls of the animals in his wallpaper. The monkey and tree were done mostly freehand, and came out really well.


She also did some giraffes, which overlook the crib and will probably creep the little fella out.


Some stencil work around the windows and closet doors. If you want the artist's name and contact info, email me. She's really, really good.

The room looks great! The furniture came in cardboard crates that now need disposal. A few years ago, I would have taken them to my former apartment complex dumpster and drop them in at about 2 am. Too bad that's like 20 miles from here now. I thought about burning them in my driveway, but neighbors hate that kind of subdivision misconduct.

St. Valentine must have owned Hallmark stock

So I've been sick with the flu this week and bat-shit busy last week, so I haven't blogged for a month of Sundays. (thanks Grandma) I can only imagine you've been depressed and borderline suicidal without my unique, entertaining perspective.

Emily and I are only about seven weeks away from Child Launch 2008, when Sparky will enter the world with a list of demands: Diapers, boobs and naps. I can help him with the diapers and naps, but my nipples tend to chap like a bitch.



At any rate, the baby's room is nearly ready! Ahead of schedule, I might add... the paint is on, a wallpaper border added. Furniture is assembled and in place, and we have somewhere around 1,200 diapers standing by to catch all the Sparky colon jetsam.

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We paid our annual Valentine's visit to The Melting Pot last night. Do you have any idea what that much freakin' cheese does to your system?

Fondue is always fun, but I wouldn't want to do it more than once a year. First, it would give me flashbacks to the 70's and way too much evil shit went on in my life back then; but moreover, I would gain about two hundred pounds.

Anyway, we had fun despite the waiter's very dry, almost mumbly persona.

Hey, somebody got Em roses!

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There's a city in the St. Louis area that has banned baggy pants. Pine Lawn has decided that it would legislate dignity and self respect.

Now, I understand that some people hate those baggy pants with legs that drag the ground (not to mention the occasional showing-of-the-ass-crack) but what's next? You going to tell me what color lederhosen I can wear?

And what about plumbers? Are you willing to crack down on that crack?

I'll bet they haven't found a solution to their crime problems, but damned if they are going to let these ingracious little mall-monkeys wear loose pants.

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When you're having a baby, you tend to plan his/her future even prior to birth. Such is the case with Sparky, who will attend UCLA and major in biochemistry with minors in psychology and history.

But occasionally Emily and I will stumble across something we don't agree on. For instance, will Sparky be allowed to have a kitchen set?

You're probably thinking, "gee, I wonder which side Dave's on..."

I'm not much into sexual stereotypes, and many (if not most) great chefs are male. (except the lovelies, Em, Paula and Blogarita) I have no problem with the Sparkster being the next Wolfgang Puck, but what does it say to your friends when they peek into a boy's room and instead of a Tonka road grader and one of those orange Matchbox car tracks with the loop-de-loop, they see an Easy Bake Oven?

"Hey Sparky, put away the football because it's time to whip up a nice quiche!"

I'm afraid if we get him a kitchen set, he'll never make quarterback at UCLA. Thoughts?

To Whomever may hear...

In a few days, NASA will beam the Beatles song Across the Universe... literally across the universe.

In commemoration of NASA'S anniversary and the anniversary of the release of the song, they will point the Deep Space Network array of antennae at Polaris, the North Star. It will beam the song to that star and all points beyond.

I wonder who'll hear it...

Words are flying out like

Endless rain into a paper cup

They slither while they pass

They slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow waves of joy are

Drifting thorough my open mind

Possessing and caressing me...

Weather or not...

Another snowstorm rolled through and dumped about... oh... let's see...


8.5 inches* on us. That qualifies as the biggest snowstorm of the season so far, and hopefully the last. You gotta hate anything that makes my dog's weiner drag in the frozen white mess.


"Hey, Dave. Can you toilet train me? I'm sick of this shit."

*approximately one penis** length.

**someone else's penis.

A bad case of the shirts...

Two weeks ago I found myself at the baby shower of one of Emily's friends at work. This is a great example of my level of love and commitment in our relationship, because no guy ever, ever wants to be at a baby shower. It's akin to admitting you wear panties.

I do not wear panties.

During a particular lull in the activities (wait, baby showers are one big lull*), and after seeing slogans on the baby shirts, I decided any slogan I could write would blow away the ones I'd seen so far.

So I set out writing my own phrases for Sparky's shirts:

• Hung like a second grader.
• Powder THIS!
• Anheuser Busch baby. Born-on date: April 6, 2008.
• Nursing is NOT a tag team sport. Back off.
• My other stroller has a Hemi.
• Dang I love me some booby.
• Come back to my crib. I have a great mobile.
• Down to two naps a day.
• Total Diaper Filler.
• Piss me off and I will kick your ass.
• You can't change me. (On second thought, you probably can)
• In touch with my toddler side.
• Dad's my wing-man.
• That totally chaps my ass.
• This is your brain on Enfamil. Any questions?
• Your buggy has a bitchin' paint job.
• Wanna peek under my quilt?
• Swaddle THIS!
• Nipple chapper.
• Beets are evil.
• Social instability, from the inner cities of the US to Sub-Saharan Africa is both a cause of, and a result of, the proliferation of small arms. And speaking of small arms, have you seen THESE???

I will need to get some iron-on printer paper.

*Actually it was one of the better showers because there were no games like "name the candy bar," or "taste the baby food." We opened gifts, ate some mini tacos and it was over.

Blogarage Sale items 2 - 5

Second item - FREE.


Samsung DirecTV tuner. It's a few years old, and picks up the main satellites. Nothing hi-def or fancy, but if you need a spare receiver, this is it. Comes with manual, remote, etc.

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Third item - FREE. (STATUS, GONE)


An HP Deskjet 5440. A simple printer, nothing fancy. You'll need to download the driver software, but that's no big deal.

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Fourth item - $50 or best reasonable offer.


A Sony photo printer. It prints various sized photos directly from a data card, but you'll need to connect it to your computer so you can view the photos prior to printing. It's professional quality printing.

I purchased it with my camera a few years ago and it's never been used. I never even plugged it in.

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Fifth item - $75 or best reasonable offer.


An HP PSC 2510 photosmart all-in-one printer. It has a built-in fax, scanner, photo-quality printer, etc. Used regularly for about a year... but no high volume work. It still works like new.

The first person to claim the free stuff gets it, just email me through the link on my profile in the right column. Otherwise, email me an offer for the other stuff and I'll get back to you.

All freight charges must be paid by you, but USPS is cheap. If I know you, we can arrange to meet at a bar during happy hour to exchange said item.

Thoughts during my drive home

I think I've had a pretty good life. Not in the same way Bill Gates or Ron Jeremy have, but I've managed to pack a lot in. (Ron Jeremy joke - click the link if you don't get it)

Don't misunderstand, I've had plenty of hard times... but the quality of your life isn't defined by how easy it is. Good means a positive net result, even from negative events.

Henry David Thoreau said "How vain it is to sit down to write when you've never stood up to live." While my life is a work in progress, I have plenty to write about already. Some things I've learned:

• Be careful about who you marry. In fact, unless you find someone so great you just can't help yourself... by all means HELP YOURSELF. Having said that, we're checking on banquet halls and facilities for the ceremony. Do as I say, not as I do.
• You are a product of your past and the events of your life. There's no getting around it, so it's best to just accept it. That's why they make Zoloft.
• If you're doing okay in life, it's okay to take credit for it. Nothing is free, everything takes hard work and there are no exceptions to that rule. Unless you're Paris Hilton.
• Pets are cool, unless they shit on your bed or shed on your couch. I've had few better friends than my cat, Kramer... and he's done both. I don't even like cats, and fully believe they will someday arrive by the millions in spaceships to take over the Earth. Kramer will be the Darth Vader of that movement... but he's still pretty cool.
• I miss the feeling, when I was a kid, of hearing "David! Time for dinner!" I was always hungry by then, and on the way in, it was fun to try to guess what would be on the table. My modern-day equivalent to that experience is Emily yelling down the stairs to me, "Dave, which restaurant are we going to tonight?"*
• You can't smile while you're wiping. I've mentioned it here before and all my friends agree. They've tried.
• I can hold a piece of my son's clothing or one of his stuffed animals (he's scheduled to arrive in April) and feel like I'm holding him. Same with my daughter. It's a connection that comes with parenthood. Kids feel that same connection when they hold their parents' wallet.
• There is nothing more soothing than sitting at a piano, playing. I suspect the same is true of an acoustic guitar, although all I can play is "Smoke on the Water" on one string. Both instruments feel really personal and emotional to me. It's why I like Jackson Browne and Billy Joel.
• Music might be the quintessential emotional connection that bonds us all. If you doubt that, listen to "These Days" by Jackson Browne, "Waitin' On a Sunny Day" by Springsteen or "Go Down Easy" by Fogelberg.
• 4:00 am is a great time to write Things I've Learned lists on my blog.

I'm headed back to bed now, I have to be up again by 8. It sucks to be in demand! ;)

*Em's a wicked-amazing cook, but we never seem to have time.

Blogarage Sale, item number one

Edit: SOLD!

As we move, store and generally clean things up around here, we've stumbled across a lot of "stuff" we'll need to either sell or give away. Over the next week here on The Window, I'll be featuring those things, and allowing you to either claim it for free (first come, first serve), buy it at the price stated, or make an offer.

All of the stuff is in great condition. We just don't need it. Some of the stuff I forgot I had.

Here's the first item, free to the first person who claims it:

A Panasonic cordless phone and answering system, with three digital mail boxes, the base station with handset, plus four extra handsets to use throughout your home. It's a digital system so there's no static at all. (FM! - Bad Steely Dan reference) All the handsets broadcast back to the base station, so only one phone outlet is necessary.

It's about 7 years old, but was used for about 1 year. You MAY need or want to replace the rechargable batteries in the handsets (I'm not sure if storage causes the batteries to go bad) and you'll need to download a manual for it, although it's very intuitive and easy to use. If you want it and are out of the area, you'll need only to send me a paid postage label - Fed Ex, USPS, whatever.

If you have questions, email me via my profile page.

Archaeological find

Em and I cleaned out and reorganized our kitchen today, and found these:



What the hell are they? Anyone know? They were at a level in the drawer that dates them back to around 1999 or 2000. I'm betting on Blogarita or Fantastagirl, but whoever answers first wins them. Good luck.

Happy Anniversary

Two years ago, I was introduced to the most amazing person I've ever met.

Em accepts me for who I am, knows me better than anyone ever has, and shows me who she is, unabashed and unashamed, every day. I think those are the most precious gifts that could ever be given to another human being.

Thanks honey. I love you.

Is there supposed to be scum on top of the jelly?

It's almost midnight and I'm sitting in the kitchen eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The cold milk is helping me swallow every grapey, peanuty glob and I'm wondering why I can't sleep.

Then I realized it's because the news is almost all BAD.

Some of the events going on right now:

A former Michigan Republican congressman is indicted on obstruction of justice charges and money laundering for a terrorist ring.

A CIA official authorized the destruction in 2005 of videotapes documenting harsh interrogation of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

The White House, under intense scrutiny, has admitted to destroying emails as part of a "data recycling" procedure, during the period of time when the US went to war with Iraq and US CIA operative Valerie Plame was outed.

The housing market is in a depression. The real estate bubble that was only casually considered a possibility a few years ago has finally burst. In some markets, houses selling three years ago for 400,000 are being sold for barely half that. The sub-prime interest loans issued to risky borrowers for the past several years are being foreclosed upon. People are losing their homes because they can't pay their mortgage.

Eddie Murphy and his new wife (of TWO weeks) have announced their split.

O J Simpson, mistakenly (in my opinion) exonerated of murder charges in the 90's (thereby living on borrowed time) has now violated the terms of his bail in a memorabilia heist... where he, at gunpoint, tried to "take back" prized heirlooms of his career from an alleged thief. He's back in jail for contacting one of the plaintiffs and THREATENING them.

It was announced today that Ike Turner died of a cocaine overdose.

No wonder I can't freakin' sleep. The world is spinning out of control. The US has a bad political reputation which continues to worsen, Buckwheat can't stay married and Ike not only abused Tina, but also his own proboscis. (I met him in the 90's at a party in Memphis and he was a real dick... um, God rest his soul)

WTF?

OK, I'm finished with my PBJ. I'm going back to bed. The headlines have GOT to be better tomorrow.

Daddy's nose, Mommy's... everything else

Here's a new ultrasound picture of Sparky:


He really does have my nose. His little mouth looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid. It was great to visit with him yesterday. He was given a clean bill of health by the doctor, and he's just a little bigger than average. (both Mom and I are taller than average)

Click Pop Tick Sssssshhhhhht

Quote from an article I just read:

"With Apple, Amazon.com, NetFlix and Microsoft pushing downloadable movies and cable and phone companies peddling a plethora of on-demand, high-definition content, the day is coming when the stacks of plain vanilla DVDs that clutter many home entertainment centers will go the way of the CD collection."

Look at the last few words, and tell me how old you feel.

Prior to the Day I Bought My First CD Player, my Saturday mornings had always consisted of grabbing my Rolling Stone magazine, a coffee and my Walkman with a mix tape and scouring the 45 section at Streetside Records for new singles. I would spend hours there, talking to the "experts" who worked in the store and going over the charts and reviews in RS. It was quite an experience, and one of my favorite memories of youth. (by youth I mean anywhere from age 16 to 25)

The advent of the CD somehow changed the experience. I don't know exactly how, but it took away the innocence or something. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it probably has more to do with MY moment in time.

I bought my first CD player in September 1986, at a price of around $500. I bought it in a record store, which had committed only a tiny corner to this new technology. There were only maybe a thousand titles available at the time.

These new "discs" were shiny and you could see a rainbow in them. Oooooh! At that time I may or may not have been consuming recreational pharmaceuticals, so the entire experience may have freaked me out. I might have said something like "Whoa! You can see into the future in these!" Or, more likely, "Whoa! Where do you drop the needle?"

For the younger reader, 'dropping the needle' isn't a drug reference, it's a turntable reference.

Having just paid $500 for the CD player, I could only afford two CDs that day. Slippery When Wet by Bon Jovi and Yesterday Once More by The Carpenters. Ah, diversity! The clerk gave me this really odd look. Screw you, clerk!

I remember racing home, hooking up the player and popping in Bon Jovi. The clarity was simply amazing. I sat and listened to those CDs for the rest of the day and invited several friends to come check it out.

I clung to the old vinyl technology as long as I could, until singles were being released on those little baby discs and 45s disappeared. I remember the time I changed apartments and decided I didn't have space in the new place for my turntable. I may or may not have cried that day, but I'm a little teary writing this.

Fast forward>> (kids, that's a cassette reference, which is a whole different ancient technology) to 23 years later, when CDs are yesterday's news and even DVDs are becoming obscolete. I can understand why old people finally surrender and stop trying to keep up.

I've managed to change with the times. I have a pretty large mp3 collection (about 3,000 titles) and a kick-ass iPod. I listen to podcasts and watch TV shows on it.

Still, recently I purchased a nice turntable so I can pull out the vinyl now and then. It's really quite a treat to hear the pops and clicks. The music feels warmer and it takes me to a place where I'm wearing a Walkman, drinking coffee and reading my Rolling Stone.

Anybody got any recreational pharmaceuticals?

Sunday speculations...

I stepped outside this morning and thought I had slept four months. It's 70 degrees in St. Louis on January sixth.

Which means a bunch of friends will be hanging on the patio today, BBQ-ing ribs and burgers and drinking margaritas. We might as well take advantage of the nice weather while it's here... in a few days, it will be back into the 20's.

By the way, we'll set new records today and tomorrow, when it will reach almost 75.

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Last week while out of town, my HP laptop farted, then died.

Normally, people don't die when we fart, but computers are apparently quite different regarding passing gas. Obviously a file became corrupted and it wouldn't boot... so I had to do a destructive reload and lost all my onboard data.

Thankfully, I was able to transfer the hard-drives to an outboard chassis temporarily, offload the data I needed (which included years of collected music, over $1,500 investment) and then reloaded. It pays to know your way around a computer.

Advice to you - if you own an HP, get an extended warranty. After the crash, I purchased a two-year "accident policy" for it. For a nominal fee, if I spill water on the keyboard, run over it with my Hummer or put it in the oven ("accidentally," of course) they will send me a new one. No matter what happens, it's covered. I like those kinds of policies...

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I've had it with taxes.

That's why Mike Huckabee is an appealing candidate to me. I don't agree with all of his social policies, but he proposes abolishing the IRS and imposing a flat, consumption-based "Fair Tax." Basically a federal sales tax, you are charged a 23 percent tax at the cash register, but you keep 100 percent of your paycheck.

Then every month, based on your income level, you are issued a "refund" check. If you are considered at the poverty level, you will receive a 100 percent refund.

The great thing about this system is, everyone pays. Prostitutes, drug dealers, illegal immigrants... when you buy something, you pay taxes. Imagine how that would be...

This especially appeals to me, because I am a corporation. I have to file quarterly returns, pay DOUBLE the social security, and make monthly tax payments to the IRS. It is an incredible expense, even just to pay my accountant. A "regular guy" has no chance of understanding the intricate, convoluted beaurocracy that is the IRS.

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Why can't there be a breakfast delivery service?

Pizza and Chinese food... that's pretty much all you can get delivered. I wonder why.

Whoops, I forgot "Meals on Wheels," but I believe there is an age requirement...

This morning we were faced with a lack of milk and a desire for breakfast food that required milk. A quick phone call to the Bob Evans for the Ranch Hand Platter delivered to our house would have been the perfect solution.

But HELL no. We ended up with fried eggs, bacon and toast.

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Usually the latest movie or play you see, based on being the freshest in your mind, seems like the best you've ever seen.

Last night we went to the Fox Theater and saw Wicked... and I believe it will stand the test of time for me.

The performances were phenomenal, especially those of Glinda and Elphaba. (the Wicked Witch of the West) I got a little verklempt a few times... so did Dr. Mike, that big pansy.

Preceded by a huge ribeye and some wine at Morton's, it was a fun evening. It's always nice to dress up a little and go out on the town.

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It's possible that the HD DVD vs. Blu Ray standoff is over.

Warner Brothers has announced they will endorse Bluray, and make their library available exclusively in that format. That leaves Paramount and Universal the lone standouts among major studios that support HD DVD.

I've been waiting for someone to blink. Unlike the Beta vs. VHS battle of the 80's, the more expensive version appears to have taken the lead now. We'll see if it holds... but this development is huge. I would advise refraining from purchasing an HD DVD player for the time being.

Happy New Year!

That's it. Happy 2008.

The Grinch that Stole Christmas...

Last year for Christmas, I narrated and produced "The Grinch That Stole Christmas," burned it to a CD and gave it to a niece and nephew, along with a copy of the book. It was hard work and I'm proud of the final result, so I thought I'd share it this year.

LINK

There is a musical element when it's time for the reader to turn the page. (it gets a little old if you're not following along with the book) I'm especially happy with the way the music and sound effects weave throughout the piece and lend themselves to the story line.* Theater of the mind.

It was Emily's idea for me to narrate the book, and she lent her talent by playing the part of Cindy Lou Who.

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We're spending the week in New England with family. Merry Christmas.


*I used music from The Abyss, Phantom of the Opera, Scarface and more, but they worked well, and it's not like I'm publishing it for profit.

Thought sausage

Recently I was talking to a friend about Emily in the abstract, and couldn't decide how to refer to her. Girlfriend seemed trite. Wife is waaaaay heavy (and not even accurate yet) (and so scary too) so I settled for fiancée.

After I got off the phone, it occured to me that fiancée is a really stupid word. It's way too complicated. Fee-ohhhns-aaaaay.

The English language is like a five-bedroom house that started as a one-bedroom bungalow. You can tell where the original house was, and the additions look like... well, additions.

Side note: Before you tell me fiancée is French, yeah I know. There is no simple English word for it. Betrothed? Ha, it's like the sound you make when you throw up. Prospective spouse seems a little formal and like you're not sure it's going to happen.

The language is a mess. Lead and led. They're, there, their. Damn, dam. C'mon, aren't there (They're? Their?) open words available that aren't being used, so we can simplify a little??? It is my opinion that this five-bedroom house needs to be torn down, and replaced with a nice atrium ranch with a pool.

Yeah, I'm suggesting starting the language almost from scratch.

Side note again: The Mexicans will hate us, since they've only just learned to say "please," "thank you" and "your shrubs need trimming and I can help" in English.

I think we should begin converting the longest words first. We can assign them unused one-syllable words. For instance, the longest word found in major dictionaries is Pneumonoultramicroscopic-
silicovolcanoconiosis. Let's give it... meeb.

Another good one is Antidisestablishmentarianism. It is now ard. We'll use (you's?) all (awl?) possible combinations of single-syllable words first, then move on and add (ad?) a second syllable as needed. No (know?) two words will have the same sound.

One of the other words I'll be glad to (two? too?) see changed is cantaloupe. What the hell is the deal with THAT word? It's now ap. (which is fine, because it's pronounced "app," not "ape"... and app is no longer short for application, because application is now bem.)

And so (sew?) now, fiancée is... beeb.

Final side note: As an example of how stupid the language is, how ironic is it that abbreviation is a five-syllable word?

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I was relieved to learn that they found a family that had been lost in the woods of Northern California for three days.

When they were back in civilization and were warmed up, they were asked how they survived in such harsh weather. "Jesus Christ" was their answer.

Let me say that I think faith in God is a fine thing, and many find great strength in their faith. (I don't go to church as often as I should, usually only around the holidays.) But it's sad to me that people rob themselves of credit for being smart, strong, or brave. It must be a pretty strange feeling not to feel like you're in control of your life. Personally, I think that Dad is pretty heroic.

Anyway, it reminded me of an old joke:

A guy was sitting on the roof of his house in a flood and a boat happened along. "Ahoy, climb aboard, we'll get you to dry land!"

"No, that's okay, I'm a man of faith and I'm waiting for God to rescue me." So the boat left.

A little later a helicopter hovered above and a man on a bullhorn shouted, "Grab the rope and we'll pull you up. The water's rising and you don't have long!"

"No thanks, I'm waiting for the Lord to save me. I'm sure he'll be along momentarily. Save someone else!" he said.

About then, a wave came down the river and knocked him from his perch and into the swirling water. A little while later he found himself at the gates of Heaven, talking to God himself. "Lord, I put all my faith in you to save me, and you didn't. Why?"

"Shoot, Bob, I gave you free will, a boat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

(I love the idea that God would use a word like "shoot." Haha!)

Inspirational quote of the week:

"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do." ~ Helen Keller

My equivalent:

"You want me to do WHAT???" ~ Dave Morris

"...and maybe there are seasons, and maybe they change..."*

Rest in peace, Dan Fogelberg.

I hadn't heard the news until this morning. I am profoundly sad. He was 56, and died of advanced prostate cancer.

He lifted all musicians, influenced almost everyone who strummed a guitar (some even unknowingly) and gave the feelings of millions a voice. If lyrics** are important to you, it's likely you own a Dan Fogelberg album. Check out this video on You Tube for evidence, or these lyrics from "Changing Horses":

Changing horses in the middle of a stream
Gets you wet and sometimes cold.
Changing faces in the middle of a dream
Gets you old...
Oh, gets you old.
Looking farther than you'll ever hope to see
Takes you places you dont know.
Search for someone you cant ever hope to be
And still you go
Oh, still you go.

God bless and keep ya, Dan.

If you're a male, please read up on the symptoms, and if you're over 50 (40 with family history) get checked annually.

*From "To the Morning."
**See Same Auld Lang Syne, Seeing You Again, There's a Place In the World For a Gambler, Heart Hotel.

Weather for the Gateway Shitty

In a ballsy move we didn't expect, our friends Mike and Diana decided not to cancel their White Elephant Christmas party tonight. Which was fine with us... if it's snowing, I'll find a reason to get out in it.

I somehow ended up taking home the most coveted gift of the party, a talking fly swatter, but it required a lot of thievery (if you've ever participated in a White Elephant event, you know what I mean). When you kill a fly, the Talking Fly Swatter says things like "Flight cancelled!" Or, "Hasta la vista, baby!" Yeah, damn right and it's all mine.

When we left the party, we hung out at the mall until Em's sister got off work so we could drive her home. She's not great on snowy roads, so it was the right thing to do. As we were pulling out, we noticed some people huddled around something in front of Best Buy. Naturally, we whipped around to take a look.



The "something" was a propane heater, and the people were camping out for tomorrow's shipment of Nintendo Wiis. I'd say these were the most dedicated (read: lunatic fringe) people I've ever met! I almost went to QT to get them hot chocolate, but realized that they will pay Best Buy prices for the Wii and sell them for a multiple of four or five.


The snow was exceptionally heavy at around 6 pm. We had just hit the drive-thru at White Castle for a "Crave Case" for the party (because we heard white elephants love White Castle) and found ourselves in near-whiteout conditions. (We're brilliant, creative and funny.)


This was I-70 near our house. MODOT had done a decent job of getting the road cleared by now. (12:45 am)


We paused in front of O'Fallon City Hall. I wish I had the good camera and a tripod, I could have taken some fantastic night shots.


At 1:00 am we were 10 blocks from home. This clock is also part of the City Hall complex. I was surprised the snow still hadn't stopped. We got a total of around 7-8 inches at our house.

I hope you enjoy the photos, the snow is exceptionally beautiful. Right now the tea kettle is whistling. One quick cup and I'm hitting the bed. I think we'll probably stick close to home tomorrow, make some bacon and eggs in the morning and relax all day.