Monday, December 01, 2008

It is just me, or...

  • Do you also get a feeling of comraderie and synergy with the person in the car in front of you when your turn signals are blinking at exactly the same time and rate? It's like we're in the same positive chi aura. That, or we're both driving Chryslers.

  • Do you also feel bad when the Chinese restaurant delivers more fortune cookies than you need, indicating you're a big, fat, overeating hog? Is it really that unusual for one person to order Sesame Chicken, Kung Pao Shrimp AND Peking Duck?

  • Do you also wonder about what the hell kind of future lies ahead if Dippin' Dots will be our ice cream? (and how goddamn far into the future do I have to wait before I witness someone actually making a Dippin' Dots purchase?)

  • Are you also afflicted with an itchy rash on your arms after assembling and lighting a Christmas tree? I think I'll invent something called Tannen Balm* to ease the pain.

  • Do you also have a love/hate relationship with bumper stickers? I would never put one on my vehicle, but I am amused by the sarcastic, offensive ones, while completely put off by the "my son is an honor student" ones, and the latest rage, the stick figure family stickers.

  • Are you also having writer's block in YOUR blog world? I mean, look at the shitty material I came up with for this post. Surely it gets better from here.

*FUCK! I thought I had another Dave Original, but when I google "tannen balm" there are seven results. I swear I started this blog about 5 years too late.


The Comeback Kid said...

dude the writer's block is hitting me hard. either my life totally blows or my creative juices are not flowing properly.

I think I'm still in shock from Saturday. I keep thinking it's just a bad dream... I mean, it's KANSAS..

Blogarita said...

I like Dippin' Dots. They're great for shooting at vehicles with stick figure families on them. Kinda like paintball, only paintballs taste better.

Paula said...

You need to have a serious talk with my husband...he LIKES those stick people....

C said...

when my blinker goes the same pace as the car in front of me, i always like to think that for a brief nano minute, we are universally connected. i thought i was the only one who did that! also, dippin dots GAG me. it's more fun to blow them through a drinking straw at strangers in the mall who then look around with a WTF look on their face, as you load up again for another unsuspecting victum....
i also love reading bumper stickers and i make small judgements about the people in the car the sticker is on, based on what the sticker states. i do also enjoy the offensive, sarcastic ones the best. and FYI dave..... erm, hate to break it to ya, but.... stick people are REAL.
how do i know this for a fact? well, cuz they talk to me.....

Clippy Mat said...

my blinker never blinks in synchronicity with other vehicles.
i don't know what dippin dots are..
i haven't had chinese take out delivered for eons,
i think tannen balm is an awesome remedy for itchy tree rash,
what else
bumper stickers.
brain dead on that one.
but personalized license plates around here have gnway2fr
serious block on the blogging.
it's been a week.
brain dead.
can only read and admire..........

Anonymous said...


George Carlin had the PERFECT bumper sticker:

"Proud parent of a child with sufficient self-esteem not to care whether his or her minor scholastic achievements are advertised on a bumper sticker"
-I am so having one of those made up!