Milk Day Musings*

Sitting here in Picasso's Coffee House today, it occurred to me that I'm not alone on the technological cutting edge anymore.

As I look around the room, 75 percent of the customers are on a laptop. Even a woman who can only be described as a tech-challenged-looking grandmother of about 60.

I am convinced that Apple's new iPhone will be to mobile wireless connectivity what technicolor was to movies. We are taking a Rosie O'Donnell-sized step toward each other and the future, all of us connected by a wi-fi cloud, the meaning and potential of which we've only begun to discover.

The iPhone will do things we've only imagined could be done in a box this small. It does almost everything a laptop can do, except make a grandma look cool in a coffee house.

In the past two years I've "gone iPod," gotten TWO new PDAs, upgraded to a new steroid-fueled laptop, driven a car with GPS, satellite phone and voice-activated everything... and I STILL find myself lagging behind the truly technologically advanced among us. My living room still features an old-fashioned non-HD TV (um Mike, we need to go shopping), I haven't even wired my surround speakers in my media room (um Mike II, what are you doing this weekend?), and I still haven't found a way to get my laundry to do itself.

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A conversation from about 10 minutes ago:

Me to Vi: "What do you want to have tonight?"

Back to me: "How about hot, steamy, raunchy............ chicken?"

Me to Vi: "Is that kosher?"

Back to me: "That's funny, I don't care who you are."

It doesn't take much to entertain us.

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We finally took the christmas tree down yesterday. I noticed that the feelings you get when you're putting UP the tree and when you're taking DOWN the tree are exactly opposite. However, the scratches you get on your arms from those pokey needles are the same.

I'm fairly organized person, with numbered containers for certain parts of the tree, certain containers for certain kinds of ornaments, etc. but it never goes back into the basement the way it came out.

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Are we a product of genetics or environment? It's looking more and more like genetics largely guides us toward who we will become. We learn a lot from our parents, and usually since they are our genetic templates, that which they teach us tends to reinforce our genetic predisposition, but it's amazing what DNA coding does for us. (or against us)

As Vi and I were discussing what our child would look and act like, (if we were to ever have one, that is) I became fearful of which habits or tendencies I might pass along to my offspring:

1 - General skepticism.
2 - Making Barbie do dirty things.
3 - Fear of abandonment.
4 - Blaming others for gaseous emissions.
5 - Self doubt.

At the same time, there are positive traits I would hope to pass along:

1 - Wariness of unbelievable things.
2 - Knowledge that everyone has selfish motives... everyone.
3 - Honesty.
4 - Barbie has bendable knees for a reason.
5 - Knowledge that voluntary ignorance is apalling and self-destructive.

Most of all, I would hope to pass along that you will always get f*#ked in the drive-thru.

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The Superbowl will be fine, as long as Indianapolis beats the Patriots in the playoffs. I can't bear to watch another Superbowl with Tom Brady in it.

I'm excited about the prospects of the Bears going all the way, yet the Saints would be a great Cinderella story. I'll have to call that one a tie. But c'mon Indy, kick New England's ASS.

Can you tell I'm still a little bitter about Superbowl XXXVI?????

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Ice storm over, ice melted, life back to normal. (at least for me) Now we can begin counting the days until Spring arrives. That's okay. I have a fireplace, shelves and shelves of books and movies, a cupboard full of popcorn and comfort food, and the company of an amazing friend to keep things interesting. Cloudy and cold is only a state of mind.



*Milk day is MLK day.