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Having built a reputation of giving away great prizes for these, I am beginning to feel the
pressure to outdo myself each time. Last time, a hot sausage. This time, this beautiful Piggly Wiggly grocery cart, pulled fresh from the Arkansas River south of Little Rock. It comes with leaves, a used condom and three unidentifiable mammal carcasses. It's only been driven by a little old homeless lady on Sundays. This prize will NOT be delivered via UPS. It's a pick-up-only prize, as usual... but well worth the trip.Now get busy.
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See what Brown can do for you!
A slight mishap occurred when the UPS driver promised to deliver the wedding Singer directly to the church door.
After I "went down on the brown," I won this clever little sewing machine.
Bob shows off the sewing machine his mom used to make a tuxedo so stunning he kept the postman from making his appointed rounds.
Another prom prank goes terribly wrong.
"I went to my prom, sponsored by UPS, and all I got was this lousy sewing machine."
Well, crap! No wonder I couldn't think of any captions! I thought that gizmo was a cappucino maker!!
A UPS spokesperson said in a statement today the new uniforms were a big hit with customers. "People luv the tuxedo uniforms", he said.
"No comment" was the response when he was asked about the new high school driver intern program. One customer said, "I thought Dale Jarret was going to delivery my sewing machine, not some 17 yr old smart ass in a tux".
"Fire me on Prom Night, will you? Fuck you, UPS. I got me a sweet new job in a malaysian sweatshop, bitches."
CP.
Hey, go now, there is all kinds of stuff laying on the ground!
The true identity of the Loch Ness Monster was discovered today. A ups truck emerged after 50 years of driving around underwater searching for it's destination of an improperly labeled lake front property. An overdressed seamstress on the scene offered to sew the cold, wet driver a sweater bearing the name "Nessie" on the back.
By the way Dave, I'll need to borrow your new vehicle to go pick up my prize.
Terminator 4 And his nemesis not far behind..
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