Friday, September 22, 2006

'Scuse me?

This morning on my regular drive to the coffee house for my caffeine fix, (venti cafe latte, skim milk) I was behind this vehicle.


Unsolicited advice: Don't name your business anything that suggests that you are into bestiality. People are pretty dead set against you screwing their shih tzu.

Also seen yesterday, a business called "Greater Midwest Auto Plaza." See, I don't think you should call yourself an auto "plaza" if you have 7 cars parked on a grass lot with a mobile home as your office.

Living in O'Fallon Missouri, this blog practically writes itself.

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On a recent evening, in a state of mild insobriety, Violet and I were discussing humorous euphemisms for poop.

In the 80's, my friend Tom Upton and I worked together at the Lake of the Ozarks and were pretty much joined at the hip. One of our favorite things to do was get drunk and invent euphemisms. I am unable to remember many, but one that always stuck with me was "coiled perfume snake."

The gin and tonic had taken its toll that evening with Violet, so I Googled it to see if it was indeed an original.

Coiled perfume snake

Yep. It appears several times, but all by me except once by my friend Ken Dillon, who got it from me.

The downside, it hasn't taken hold like I hoped.
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Happiest of birthdays to my Mom! I love you so much. Happy 49th! (again)

20 comments:

paula said...

Gotta love O'Fallon...one of the only places on Earth that you can find a trashy trailer park next to the $300,000 dollar houses on the golf course.

Just a note, I have nothing against trailer parks, just this one by my house that is really trashy.

Anonymous said...

Coiled Perfume Snake. Now available at the fragrance counter at Macy's.

Violet said...

I clicked on your link to "coiled perfume snake" and now that term shows up in my Google search window. Great. I will now forever be marked as somebody who has completed a search on Google for "coiled perfume snake."

Although, it was pretty freakin' funny when you first said it. Although that may have been the effect of the vodka and cranberry...

Kimmy said...

Actually, I think it's Bestiality, not Beastiality. Don't ask me how I know. There's a long story attached involving Jello and something from the hardware aisle.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Coiled perfume snake. Sounds like somebody I should know.

Fantastagirl said...

ha ha

Anonymous said...

Venti cafe latte, skim milk. Sounds like a girly drink to me.

Violet said...

By the way... we prefer the term "interspecies erotica."

Michelle O'Neil said...

Aww....you got your mom a coiled perfume snake her her birthday?

How fancy of you?

She must be so proud.

Mom of Three said...

Okay, now you've inspired me. I have had to go online and do a search for worst business names. Thanks for inspiring today's entry.

Ari said...

CPS... ewwwwwwww! :)

ned Wilkinson said...

Yayyyyy Mom! By the way, my mom says hi and is glad you're a big success and all that! :)

Lee Ann said...

Congrats on your original euphemism! Definitely a proud moment. At least it is documented in Google.

Hope your mom had a happy birthday Dave.

Chris Cope said...

But, you know, there may be just a handful of people who do want strangers having sex with their pets. And this company is cornering that market.
Perhaps it's no the most profitable market, but you know what they say: "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."

Steven Novak said...

MY dogs been a little lonely...

She might like to rub her ass on something other than my carpet...

Maybe I'll give them a call. ;)

Steve~

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I shall not use that phrase. I shan't.

Eve said...

"Dogs we do"... he he he... I frekaing LOVE it.

It's Me, Maven... said...

I love the fact that those folks advertise they do it doggy style...

Mishka said...

You are hilarious...and it is wonderful how you and your little town can keep us entertained...haha.

Tom Upton said...

I make it into your blog because of "coiled perfume snake"? Sweet!!!!!!