Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sanguine Ridicule

I wonder if hypochondria is something you can develop in your 40's.

My life has been stressful lately, and stress causes heart attacks, cancer, and has been responsible for countless strokes.

I haven't been exactly sick lately, I just feel 'different.' Little symptoms (probably imagined) that make me feel like something's not quite right.

I'm going to the doctor Monday just in case. I'll probably get some blood work and a cancer test, maybe a throat swab or a finger up the butt. Gee, I hope he doesn't get confused.

I realize I'm probably overreacting, but that's what hypochondriacs do... so I wonder if THAT'S my new disease.

---

I had the most amazing night.

I attended my subdivision meeting.

Such an incredible experience... the excitement, the divisiveness, the shouting. We read the minutes OUT LOUD, fer chrissake.

You can't buy that kind of excitement.

It was decided that we'd stop allowing residents to lease out their properties, we'd negotiate for better lawn care and come up with a way to hide the electricity junction boxes. By that time, the room was coursing with adrenaline. Afterward, I kicked back with a cigarette.

I was the youngest person in the room. I was probably the only person who had a better place to be.

My life sucks.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

When that doctor starts poking things up your butt, you'll be wishing you were back at that subdivision meeting.

rachel said...

I know how you feel when something just isn't right. Hope Monday goes ok, in the meantime, keep stretching, you'll need it to be able to bend over that far.

NeverEnough said...

Party at Dave's!! You need some cheering up after this meeting and all the butt poking that will surely occur this week!

It's Me, Maven... said...

There's this type of yoga called LAUGH YOGA. Where folks just laugh for the sake of laughing. Something physiological happens and elevates the mood. Try it. Laugh to laugh, this works good if you have a few other folks (especially with amusing laughter themselves), and soon you'll be feeling a bit better.

If need be, I'll call you to demonstrate... need I demonstrate?

It's Me, Maven... said...

I highly recommend you copy and paste this to your browser:

http://new.wavlist.com/movies/333/trtw-laffsong.wav

Violet said...

so, how does it feel to be the youngest person in a place...?

(wink, wink, nudge, nudge...)

Chris Cope said...

A finger up the butt always makes things better.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

No rentals? Good policy.

You smoke? No wonder you're worried about CA. I figured you just smoked the ganja. Switch to Ganja Menthol Light 100s.

Dave Morris said...

Do I smoke? Heck no... I was just using that for effect.

I smoke an occasional cigar, but not frequently enough to make a difference. Maybe once or twice a month.

Eve said...

Davey-poo...

I hope that you are proven to be a big, fat, FLAMING hypochondriac!!! ;)

PS- if it makes you feel better (huddle in close b/c I am going to whisper this)... I am MARRIED to the Subdivision President!

Gasp.

Not only that, the Geriatric Club meets at my house and I bake them cookies.

Oh, the prestige... *roll eyes*

MIA said...

It's better than being the oldest person at the place,you know with an oxygen tank, walker, bald, restless leg syndrome, dentures... Hey maybe they all suffer from Alzhiemers and they won't remember you even had a subdivision meeting.
Another topic... sure your not going to the doc for the F.I.B.?
AND.. if you get really stressed, take a "skittle"

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Suck unto others as ye would have them suck unto you.

mckay said...

if you guys discover a way to hide those big ass electricity boxes,let me know, as i have one at my front gate. bleeechtzzzthp. hate it.
p.s. i bet the ladies were checking you out, you young fine thang.

Anonymous said...

Hope you aren't actually sick. I've got a cold right now and it sucks. But remember - alcohol kills germs. Therefore, whiskey is a disinfectant.

Randy Raley said...

Dude, one word...exercise. Basketball has saved my life. Am I any good at it? Hell, no but I can run the young kids out of the gym. When I catch them holding on to their shorts, I usually say.."Hey, it's gotta suck to be you, half my age and still gettin run out of the gym by an old man." That usually perks me up. I hope your butt doctor isn't some woman with a rich husband who has a REAL big engagement ring...now that would suck.

Mom of Three said...

Aw crap! We used to live in an "association." I called it The Fourth Reich. We won't ever do that again!