Tuesday, April 03, 2007

BS, AI, ME & ED

As Violet and I prepare for a trip to Mexico, we're going through the process of getting our passports.

The last time I went south of the border, I didn't need no stinking passports... only my birth certificate and photo ID. Now, thanks to the new rules designed to make life less libert-eri-ous, (new word, just go with it) there are even more hoops to jump through. Isn't it enough that I have to remove my shoes in the airport???

Plus... I can't legally bring home Cuban cigars. That's not to say I don't bring them home, mind you. Just not with the blessing of my Uncle.

Passports cost around 90 dollars each... plus 60 more if you want it expedited! It's just another tax, disguised as "Homeland Security."

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Tonight is performance night on American Idol.

I wonder what the average age of the Idol viewers is... considering Mowgli (Sanjaya) advanced for yet another week, I guess it's, like, like, like um, like, 10.

At one time, Idol was a really cool show that found America's most talented singers and gave them exposure they couldn't get on their own. Many non-winners have even signed their own record deals and sold shit-loads (shits-load?) of CDs.

This year, the talent pool is a little drier... and the single-digit-aged viewers have taken over the voting. Countless numbers of friends (okay, 3, but still...) have stopped watching. If my house weren't the designated AI viewing location for our group of friends, I would be watching Discovery HD instead. (that Planet Earth series is heli-cool) (that term is sooo 2002)

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Another political moment here. First let me say I'm hard to pin down. If I must have a label, it's independent.

Oil prices are falling - they are now below 65 dollars a barrel, (I can't believe I just said that) yet our "leaders" continue to drag their feet on finding alternative energy solutions.

Hey, rich, complacent assholes in Washington, D. C.! (aka congress) Get off your asses and do something productive! Let's get nuclear and solar and lose our dependence on the backward, camel-screwing assholes in the middle east.

Sons of bitches.

Somewhat related: When the democrats drafted legislation calling for the beginning of a troop withdrawl in Iraq, I was elated. There is nothing left to accomplish over there, those MFs need to be allowed to figure it out on their own. No freedom is free...

But the democrats screwed up. (shocking!) They decided that simple legislation wasn't good enough, so they added 24 BILLION in pork-barrel spending that wasn't even related to the war.

Pork-barrelling is a common practice designed to entice legislators who wouldn't ordinarily support a bill to jump on board. It's done all the time in D.C., which is why it smells like bullshit.

Quick example of extra spending tied to the Iraq funding bill: $5 million for payments to "aquaculture operations and other persons in the U.S. engaged in the business of breeding, rearing, or transporting live fish" (such as shellfish, oysters and clams) to cover economic losses incurred as a result of an emergency order issued by the Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service on Oct. 24, 2006.

That's some grade-A crap.

Democrats aren't the only ones who do it, but never was there a more important time to send a clear message to the President that America is ready to call Iraq a victory (the cluster-fuck it was) and bring our people home.

And they blew it. The legislation they drafted has VETO written all over it.

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I think erectile dysfunction is similar to Alzheimer's. It's more difficult on the spouse than you.

Come on... by the time men experience it, sex is firmly behind golf and sleep on the priority list. Usually women are just entering their prime sexually.

I've experimented with the little blue pill, (what guy hasn't??) but I don't need it yet. Besides, I'm a "spur of the moment" guy. For me it would be hard to wait 30 minutes for it to kick in. What if a buddy calls with an invitation to golf... or I fall asleep?

7 comments:

Violet said...

I don't know what to think about Idol this season. I mean, in a lot of ways, I'm able to simply enjoy it for what it is and not get too attached to the contestants... Sanjaya has the underdog wave pulling him through right now; it won't last forever.

Can't wait for Mexico. Although it sucks that you can only get your passport at the post office from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. People who have jobs are just screwed, I guess...!

Blogarita said...

I think you were right the first time. The plural refers to the the load, not the shit.

But it's always good to cover your ass when it comes to those things.

Or maybe not.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Since I don't watch Idol, I could care less. And I am with you on the public TV -- that is super stuff, which won't rot your brain.

Lee Ann said...

I applied for my passport 6 weeks ago. At that time they said to allow 8 - 10 weeks. They said (at that time) a month from now it would take even longer. The cost is double to speed up the process!
Sanjaya...wtf?
I saw the first of the series of Planet Earth on my brothers 71" flat screen...UNBELIEVABLE!!!
Dave, you know my situation...I guess that is a definite plus about Howard and me (and our age difference). I think we are both in our prime...haha!
Hope you guys have a blast in Mexico. Oh yes, you are right, when I went years ago, I didn't need a passport either. I hear you even need them on cruises too.

Eve said...

The passport thing to Mexico is SOOOOOO annoying. Now I have to fork out for my kiddies. I so agree, another tax.

Damn the man, Dave. Damn the man!! ;) ha ha

It's Me, Maven... said...

Whether it's viagra or vibrators, it's a slippery slope. Sure, it's fun to test the little blue pill or the Johnny Holmes super cock with the oscillating shaft and life like ejac-u-action; however, there could come a time when you reach for the blue pill (like some of us reach for the vibe) because "au naturelle" straight up regular, unadorned, normal sex won't "do it" for ya anymore.

Also, knowing how those things can jack up your blood pressure, I can't see how someone would fall asleep after taking it. Oh that and the three hour boner, too. You wouldn't be able to roll over til it subsides.

ajooja said...

I have experimented with Viagra too. Saved one for our anniversary and discovered that it doesn't work too well if you have a big, expensive meal.

"Dessert" ended up being a little less than desired. :)