While I'm not particularly afraid of many things, I am disturbed by scorpions, trains and sewing machines.*
NOT on that list, but one of the things that make my skin crawl, are praying manti. (is that plural for mantis?)
In the open-air courtyard at Norton's Cafe in Soulard, I noticed a praying mantis crawling along the railing. He stopped and cocked his head to look at me.
This freaked me right out.
First, I should explain my issue with insects - they don't bother me unless they exhibit non-insect tendencies. For instance, the mantis can turn his head. That is an animal characteristic! The scorpion looks like a lobster, and the little bastard stings with that "tail." ONLY ANIMALS have tails!
Jesus, I get the heebie jeebies just writing about it.
So back to Norton's. I flicked the praying mantis through the air really hard. Enough, I thought, that he would lose that swivelling little freakish head of his. No such luck, but I watched where it landed, walked over to check it out, and realized I was standing at the base... of a huge PRAYING MANTIS SCULPTURE.
It was an eerie moment, one of those times when you think: "Now I've done it, I've killed a mascot and the entire staff will soon arrive at my table, stab me to death and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks."
What kind of place exhaults the goddamn praying mantis??? They aren't even really praying, which is clearly sacrilege.
I'm not too sure I'll be going back to Norton's.
*sewing machines appear to be the only fear I've not explained here. I have this unrealistic feeling that the pedal will stick, my finger will get tangled in the fabric and be drawn into the workings of the machine, where the huge needle will drive itself through my finger and I will bleed to death because nobody is near. Yes, it is a real fear. No, I've never even used a sewing machine. Don't judge me.