Freaky messages from a magic cookie

I am beside myself to explain some of the world's mysteries. How does Old Faithful know when to erupt? How do birds know which way is north? Who put the bomp in the bomp, bomp, bomp?

Add to that another evasive mystery: how does Confucius get those little strips of paper to go into his typewriter? And, how does he always seem to get it right? Here's a fortune I received in a cookie the same day we found out we were pregnant:


I have a daughter already, and the timing of this message - the day we took the pregnancy test - is pretty "twilight zone." Still, the skeptic in me prevented me from making much of it.

Fast forward to a few days ago. Next fortune:


THAT'S freaky. If I didn't know better, I would think someone was trying to pull a fast one.

Anybody own a power washer?

A word of culinary caution:

Don't order the Hardee's #2 combo with 1/3 pound burger when you're trying to drive. I made this mistake today for lunch... I didn't realize those burgers contain 1/3 quart of mayo and a pint each of ketchup and mustard.

My sammitch also featured the large, gnarly lumps of hard-to-eat-while-driving lettuce, and was packaged with the well intentioned hand-sized paper wrap that tells me I got my money's worth, but does nothing toward making the burger easier to consume.

I now have condiments on my jeans, steering wheel and sun visor. Sesame seeds litter my cupholder and seat. I will now need to powerwash the interior of my ride.

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Included in an email (forward) from my Dad today:

"If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock."

My first thought was... "Gee, cell companies should be advertising this amazing feature!" Of course the email isn't even "remotely" correct. Snopes.com clears up the whole story.

So I wish I had checked Snopes prior to fiddling with my key fob and cell phone for an hour and forty-five freaking minutes today...

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One of my favorite television shows when I was a kid was Lost in Space. "Danger, Will Robinson, danger!"

I'm watching the movie right now, which was made in 1998... and it reminded me how much fun (and how cheesy) the television show was. So... um.

I downloaded a couple of the old episodes off of iTunes.

I. Have. No. Life.

Gotta run for now, I have something to watc... um, I mean. Laundry to do. And stuff.

Debunkation and other smelly stuff

I'm instituting a moratorium on dining at Chevy's Fresh Mex.

We went with friends to Chevy's last night, and again (just like last time, and the time before that, etc) our clothing, hair, skin... all smell like Chevy's. Em put on her coat this morning, and it almost made us feel sick. I'm not sure if it's poor air circulation or if they inject salsa into the air ducts, but I hate smelling like a mexican restaurant.

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It's Groundhog Day. The day that the Groundhog checks his list, finds out who's lost teeth and comes down the chimney to leave eggs under your pillow.

Or something like that.

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I would rail about how stupid the whole concept of Groundhog Day is, but I'm pretty sure the people of Punxsutawney, PA have enough disappointment and negativity in their lives just from having to live there. So I will refrain from stating how ridiculous it is to think a large rodent in Pennsylvania has some sort of meteorological prowess.

Whoops. See, I need to learn when to shut up.

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Human blood is blue until it hits oxygen.

How many times have you heard that? I can even hear the smarmy, cutting tone to the voice of the know-it-all who's saying it. It's not true.

Human blood is always red. It's darker red when it's going INTO the lungs than it is coming OUT, because highly oxygenated blood is brighter red. But when someone tries to tell you that we are like Vulcans and have blue, green or chartreuse blood, they are full of shit.

And that shit is, oddly enough, blue.

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I got nothing else today. If I think of something, you'll be the first to know.