You may choose to skip this entry, some of it might be boring. It's more or less a personal perspective of where I am right now, and where we're going as a family. More of journal entry, really.Lightning Bug's Butt has called me Big Daddy Dave for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure why - maybe he had a premonition that I'd sire a child soon. ("sire a child" - I sound like a horse... although it would be "sire a colt" I guess) I regard the nickname as one of those oddities I can't explain.
It's weird how your goals and motivations change when you find out you're going to be a parent. Women tend to begin nesting pretty quickly - they start picking out clothes, furniture, cleaning the house, getting the baby's room organized, the warm-fuzzy stuff.
Men start thinking of ways to provide for the family. I've been on a kick to do some things I've been meaning to do for a while, such as updating my demo audio, getting my business matters organized, aggressively pursuing new business, etc. In just a week I've signed two new clients, and have another big one ready to go. Pretty exciting, considering all I needed to do was get off my lazy butt and DO it.
I had become complacent. I have more than enough business to pay our bills and support our lifestyle. But with a baby on the way, we have the future to worry about now. It's not enough to be OK today, we have to be OK for twenty more years. In just a few days and with some aggressive moves... my business grew five percent. In another month or two, I have no doubt I can hit twenty to thirty percent.
I remember when I was first building my business... it was sink or swim. I chose to swim, and it took hard work and long hours, but things worked out. That's what it feels like now... like I'm starting over from scratch with the renewed energy and enthusiasm I've lacked for a little while.
Dr. Mike has it right when he says this is the perfect time to be a father. He is also in his low 40's. He has Ella, who is one year old, and he and Paula are trying to have another. I agree with his philosophy - we are having kids when we can actually enjoy them. Not that Courtney (my 18 year old) didn't provide fulfillment, meaning and purpose to my life, but I made almost no money back then, worked 50 and 60 hours a week and had the patience of a 25-year-old.
Imagine how things will be different this time. I make twenty times the money, have tons more patience, and I work from home. I have a flexible schedule that will allow me to spend quality time with the baby, take him or her to the park, to school, to play dates, etc. The same with Emily. She's getting her PhD in psychology and will open a practice, which will eventually allow her to set her own hours and really be a parent.
I'm really looking forward to the whole thing. I was hesitant about having more children, and being the selfish bastard I am, was close to deciding against it. I'm glad we made the decision we did.
We had our first ultra-sound yesterday. We got 3-D pictures and saw the heart beating. What an amazing ride this is going to be!
9 comments:
I just figured Lightning Bug's Butt called you Big Daddy Dave because of the similarity between LBB and BDD.
As for kids, while I have come to love having our granddaughter living with us, I'd rather not be raising a child at my (and your) age. Frankly, I feel too old for this crap, and was really looking forward to a child-free time in my life.
But I do understand what you're saying about being more mature and secure this time around. I feel the same way and think it will make a huge difference in the way I go about parenting.
You're the greatest, honey. And you are right, how the "important" things are almost immediately different than what they were before.
Loving you (and our baby) over here....
Sounds very exciting. Good luck with it all.
I think you are exciting all of us, too. We are in for the ride...
I think it's amazing the difference in attitude a few years makes in a "daddy", (not really knowing you now, or then) but your whole attitude is different than most 25 year old daddy's I know. Your child will have an incredible childhood because of it.
Truth is, I knew you'd knock Vi up eventually. I conceived BDD years ago.
I see things.
Great perspective on mid-life parenthood, BTW, BDD. LBB Out.
Sweet post. I find it fascinating that even in the world today, the guy still falls into the "I am the one responsible for this family" (I am not saying this is bad, I think it is sweet and like that men can fall into the manly roles easily...take the pressure off the woman). For me, I dealt with worry of being a horrible mother, that I might drop the baby or make a bad choice for my child where their dad worried about supporting the family, keeping the roof over our head, etc. Now I am a single mom, I deal with both issues. At any rate, that was a tangent. Things will be different for you this time around. You'll be okay. And congrats!
I definetly agreee with Mike......being someone who had 3 kids in my 20's and ONE pleasant little surprise in my mid 30's...well, we are thouroughly enjoying our little 'prise.....more money, more patience, and better able to relax and enjoy this time....
Hey, my link doesn't work! What gives?
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