I've never...
* - The preferred version is most certainly Robert John, I never really liked the Tokens.12 – Hummed any version of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” during a proctologist exam.*
13 – Held a vanilla wafer between my knees while wearing a light periwinkle satin & lace corset at a roadside produce stand.
14 – Sat quietly while a wolverine nibbled at my jewels.
15 – Driven to Ecuador on a Big Wheel to feast on the tripe of a camel during January, March or July, which are considered the off season down there.
16 – Held and rocked the child of a British taxidermist and reassured him/her everything will be alright as early as Friday.
17 – Gave up dancing with mannequins for lent.
18 – Requested a neighbor cease all contact with relatives and friends until I could see they’ve ended their dependency on the collecting of Leif Garrett or Sid Caesar memorabilia.
19 – Sudanese grave robbing for sport.**
20 – Adapted a screenplay for a flea-infested, size-challenged writer from Saskatoon who is known for making delicious pastries.
21 – Ice fishing with Ernest Borgnine.
** - There is just too much profit to be made.
7 comments:
So, all the animals EXCEPT a wolverine have nibbled on your jewels? Man, that takes balls.
I can't believe you've never done at least some of these things...and if you want to ice fish with Ernest Borgnine you'd better hurry because he's close to 90 years old.
LMFAO @ #13
Not so sure periwinkle would look too good on you Dave. Good thing you've never done number 13.
Camel tripe - egad. Where on earth do you get these thoughts? Is it all that 'medicinal' marijuana?
I've always wanted to contact Lee Marvin with a ouija board. I haven't figured out what to ask him yet, so I haven't tried.
But I intend to.
Well, it's probably just as well you've avoided the camel tripe in Ecuador during those months. I've heard that the rule of thumb is to avoid tripe in Ecuador during any month that has a Monday in it.
Gene, honestly I've never had a dingo do it either.
Steve, I'll watch the obituaries, and until I see Ernie's name I'll still know there's a chance.
Angie, I never take for granted the ability to make one laugh one's ass off.
Carol, the only reason I've never done it is, last time I was dressed like that it was February and no produce stands were open.
Steve, as ghosts go, Lee Marvin is a real asshole.
Bug, that was YOU?
Amanda, Ambien helps me resist.
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