Top Ten Categories of Facebook Posts

10 - The "actively forcing you to question why we were ever friends."
9 - The "humble brag."
8 - The "I was a comedian in a previous life."
7 - The "blatantly passive-aggressive."
6 - The "someone ask why I'm in the emergency room." (also see #7)
5 - The "cryptic message to someone but you all get to read it." (also see #7)
4 - The "thinning my friend list." (fine they're probably ALL also #7)
3 - The "you probably won't share this."
2 - The "picture of _____, taken in front of something I REALLY wanted you to see."
1 - The "words that take the place of actually doing something meaningful."

A couple of honorable mentions - the oft-times vomit-inducing "look at my feet," the "I'm sharing an IQ test only as an excuse to share MY score," the "look at my injury, no really, LOOK AT IT," and finally, the "I haven't mastered grammar." (which could overlay any of the above)

The Carbondale Enigma

I just discovered that a rare celestial confluence of events is about to happen at a spot on the earth not too far from me. I've dubbed this event The Carbondale Enigma.

To be technically correct, I guess I should call it The Cedar Lake Enigma, but Cedar Lake isn't a huge landmark. In fact, I had never heard of it until tonight, as I was clicking around on Google Earth.

(Honestly, I'm not even sure this discovery qualifies as an enigma, but if not, the word has an awfully high bar.)

A caveat, I am not sure I discovered this phenomenon, but as of now, I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere else. I often google my ideas and thoughts, to see if anyone else is thinking them, too. On this night, I found nothing.

I'll start my explanation by giving you an interesting fact: If you're sitting at any given spot on the globe - for instance, your house - and a total solar eclipse happens, the average wait time for the next one to cross your house is around 400 years. That's a brief tick of the Great Celestial Clock but it's a fairly long time in human terms. 

In fact, let's map it onto a human lifetime. You'd be born, complete school, get a job, get married, raise 2.1 kids, survive 1.5 divorces, max out the mileage on 12 vehicles, retire, reluctantly take up pottery and bingo (because of course you will), and die at around age 80. Repeat that five times, and that's about how long before the next total solar eclipse would happen at your house.

I'm a data fiend so I love that statistic, but I also love to play the spoiler, so of course I immediately set out to find the exception. That's how I stumbled across The Carbondale Enigma.

If you pan way out, the cosmos and everything in it can seem very well-ordered. Planets form and revolve around stars, those stars interact with other stars in galaxies, those galaxies rotate with surprising regularity, and are bound gravitationally to other galaxies in clusters. It all feels like a well-oiled machine.

But if you zoom in and give things a little scrutiny, you will notice imperfections. For instance, the moon revolves around the earth in an irregular ellipse, not a perfect circle. Its orbit deviates 5 degrees from the solar plane, so it looks a bit crooked. Earth's axis is slanted, not straight, and features something called the Chandler Wobble. Our planet's rotation is gradually slowing. And, with each revolution, the moon is slowly slipping away from the earth at a rate of a little over an inch a year.*

These imperfections, deviations from 'the norm,' don't seem like a big deal, but through the amplification of time and distance, things start looking way less ordered, and far more chaotic.

Due to these imperfections, it's likely there are places on Earth that have never experienced a perfect dead-on total eclipse. Conversely, there are other places that have probably gotten way more than their share. Pondering the second category is what sent me down the rabbit hole.

Just a few miles southwest of Carbondale, Illinois there's an unassuming, wooded spot on the bank of a body of water called Cedar Lake. If you're bold, the spot can be reached via a short hike from S. Poplar Camp Road. The less intrepid among us may prefer to rent a boat at the marina and reach it by water. However you get there, the crosshairs at 37°38'30"N 89°16'16"W are in the exact center of the path of the August 21, 2017 North American solar eclipse.

Not such a big deal - it's a bi-coastal eclipse with literally countless similar spots along its path. But as I was scouring maps of future eclipses, it occurred to me that same lakeside spot is also in the exact center of the path of another eclipse, set to occur on April 8, 2024. Only seven years later.

That may not seem like a big deal to you, but it's the equivalent of an acid trip for geeks like me. Seven years, not four hundred. Coincidence? Of course. It's a random artifact of a non-symmetrical universe. However, I'm the kind of person who appreciates such things. Maybe you are, too.

The majority of all humans who have lived on this planet have never witnessed a solar eclipse in person. I've heard it's a life-changing experience. The winds go calm, the temperature drops, shadows sharpen, and then, suddenly, the sky goes dark and the stars come out. Crickets start singing, and birds roost. In every direction, low along the horizon, a 'sunset' appears. Above, as the moon blocks a raging inferno, the wispy, feathery ring of our local star's corona dances silently.

Everything feels calm and peaceful.

Moments later, the moon continues along its path and a crescent of sunshine appears. The crickets go quiet, birds again take flight, and the world slowly returns to normal, as if nothing ever happened.

Except, as I understand, those who witness it are changed somehow.

On August 21, 2017, my family will travel to Jefferson City, Missouri, which is also in the center of the path of totality. There, we will experience this incredible event together with friends, minus our toddler son, who is too young to appreciate it.

But after discovering the Carbondale Enigma, part of me wants to change our plans and go to that spot along the bank of Cedar Lake. To take it all in from that unique place. Maybe to stack some stones as a sort of makeshift monument to the rarity of the experience and the special perspective.

And then, seven years later, on April 8, 2024, to return to watch it all happen again, and stack a few more stones, hoping that sometime in the distant future, someone will find my monument and understand.

*Fun fact: At some point, the earth will experience her final total eclipse. As the moon slips further away from the earth, it will eventually be too small in the sky to completely cover the sun. Beyond that time, all eclipses will be 'annular,' or 'ring of fire.' You still have time to plan, NASA estimates our final total eclipse to be around 600-million years in the future.

The Things We've Handed Down

Since the death of my parents, I've been on a mission to find my roots. This song by Marc Cohn has been a catalyst, lyrics dancing in the background like Trevor tugging on my shirt sleeve. I'd be hard pressed to find more poignant words to describe to my children who and why and how they are.
___________

Don't know much about you
Don't know who you are
We've been doing fine without you
But, we could only go so far
Don't know why you chose us
Were you watching from above
Is there someone there that knows us
Said we'd give you all our love

Will you laugh just like your mother
Will you sigh like your old man
Will some things skip a generation
Like I've heard they often can
Are you a poet or a dancer
A devil or a clown
Or a strange new combination of
The things we've handed down

I wonder who you'll look like
Will your hair fall down and curl
Will you be a mama's boy
Or daddy's little girl
Will you be a sad reminder
Of what's been lost along the way
Maybe you can help me find her
In the things you do and say

And these things that we have given you
They are not so easily found
But you can thank us later
For the things we've handed down

You may not always be so grateful
For the way that you were made
Some feature of your father's
That you'd gladly sell or trade
And one day you may look at us
And say that you were cursed
But over time that line has been
Extremely well rehearsed
By our fathers, and their fathers
In some old and distant town
From places no one here remembers
Come the things we've handed down

Uncle Ronnie

In 1974, my uncle, Ronald James Dickson (His stage name was Jim Dickson, but friends called him Jamie), was part of the cast of a TV documentary called "Primal Man." On March 13, 1974, the cast and film crew had finished shooting at Mammoth Mountain Resort near Bishop CA, and boarded a Sierra Pacific Airlines Convair 440 aircraft for the flight back to Burbank. Seven minutes later, without warning or signs of trouble, the aircraft slammed into the side of a nearby mountain, killing all passengers and crew.

This makeshift memorial, made from actual wreckage, is near the crash site, on top of the mountain, with the airport in the background. The crash is one of only three which remain unsolved in the forty-year history of the NTSB.

I was living with uncle Ronnie and aunt Laura near Hollywood CA when it happened. I remember waking on a rainy Thursday morning to the sound of her crying in the living room after having seen news of the crash on television.

Aunt Laura, if you Google yourself and see this, email me. I would love to see you and catch up.

The CliffsNotes version of my relationship with Barry Morris (an adventure in self-therapy)

A search of the phrase 'unconventional parental relationships' might return a link to this blog. I've always marveled at (and been envious of) healthy, normal, consistent familial relationships.

My father died this week. My mother passed two years ago, so Dad was my last direct mooring to this planet, and my last-best-hope to truly understanding why I'm here. The unconventional aspect of our relationship stems from the fact I met him for the first time at age 31. The past 20+ years have literally been an attempt to catch up.

Absent the day-to-day mental history most people co-author with their parents (as divergent from reality as they often are), I've managed to learn in bursts everything I know about my Dad and family. We exchanged letters at first, in which I described the first three decades of my life, and he gave me a peek into his world. He also described the circumstances which influenced decisions my parents made about their relationship and its fate.

I was heartened by the similarities in my parents' stories. Both admitted to playing a part, and accepted their roles in their relationship's demise.

Upon our first face-to-face meeting I witnessed the profound impact of genetics. As much stock as we place in the formative influence of environment, I am convinced more than ever our primary constitution is based on DNA. Facial expressions, body motions, stride, all were uncannily similar. If there was any reason to be suspicious of our genetic commonality, our matching smiles removed all doubt.

My new connection to Dad also came with bonus connections to other family members. I have a half-sister and step-brother, both of whom have children and families who are now part of my life. I have a great uncle who is quite an extraordinary and even historic figure, who has also been very kind and welcoming. Dad's wife, who had every right to treat me with skepticism, has done the opposite. I consider her a great blessing, and look forward to maintaining a relationship with her as long as she'll have me.

Unfortunately, the act of building a bridge to my father also served to build a wall between my mother and me. Her life was very difficult and the work of raising a child alone was often more than she could handle. She had a very tumultuous childhood which ill-prepared her for challenges ahead. She did the best she could and was lucky to have a father she could depend on for help. I spent about half of my childhood with my grandparents, who I credit greatly with my personal balance. (Many would say the word 'balance' is a gross mischaracterization.)

On the other hand, my father's life was more traditional and comfortable. He had the benefit of both parents, was involved with their family business, and had a healthy childhood and head start. My mother couldn't help feeling bitter about that. Despite my attempts to balance my attention, the more time I spent with Dad, the more she pulled away from me. When she died we hadn't spoken for several months. Needless to say, I was devastated.

My mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer a short time before her death. She made the decision that she lacked the will to fight the disease, and took her own life. She consulted no one, she allowed no attempts at dissuasion.

Dad had always considered suicide an act of cowardice and an affront to god, and when I told him of Mom's death he made no effort to conceal those feelings. Although he had softened his stance recently, his original reaction made a mark on me that would never fully heal.

Similar marks exist in every relationship. We had less of a foundation than most, but over time we managed to work through it. In the end, things were better. Over the past 20 years we had both invested much time and effort in building family bonds. Given another 20 years, who knows...

I do know this. I'm thankful for the family I inherited through meeting my father. I'm thankful for my wife's extraordinary family, which has become a loving and important part of my life. But yesterday I opened my phone and saw Dad on my 'frequent calls' list, and the thought of not having him, and those calls, made me feel profoundly lonely.