Dave's Window

Just enough

2010-07-29T22:15:00.009-05:00

I don't want to BE Grandpa K. Not exactly. Just enough.

We paid our final respects to Howard Kirkpatrick today and honestly, it was one of my more difficult days. We weren't that close, but we were friends.

Funerals are never easy but this one was especially tough because today, there is one fewer genuinely good people in the world. At a time when we can ill afford to lose even one.

Howard departed on his own terms, free from disease... his only enemy, time. Not many can say that. But more than that, he really did live a loving and unselfish life. Not to sound maudlin or cliche, but he gave more than he took. Taught more than he learned. Loved more than he was loved.

And I wonder... how did he do it? What was his secret? From where does that kind of honest-to-goodness positivity come? Days like this tend to make me introspective. For what will I be remembered? What will they say when I'm gone? I really don't know.

Truth is, Howard didn't know either. He had no idea because he didn't worry about such things. It would have taken too much time and effort. He was just... Grandpa K.

His mojo came naturally. And that's really the secret, isn't it? Either you have it, or you don't. It can't be contrived or forced.

He didn't mean to be anything special. And that's why he was.

And so shall I carry on. Not particularly caring how I will be perceived, but knowing that if I live right and love much, then THAT is what I will have done with my life.

And that will be just enough.

Just arrived...

2010-05-10T13:04:00.002-05:00

Maggie Elizabeth Morris, 8 lbs. 10 oz., 21 inches, born at 1:27 pm on Mother's Day, May 10, 2010. Both mom and baby are doing well!

I wasn't as "play-by-play" active on the blog this time as I was with Grayson. So Maggie, I apologize if someday you feel slighted. I love ya just as much!

DEFCON 3

2010-05-09T12:27:00.003-05:00

It's been a longer, slower labor with Maggie, she's not as driven to come out as Grayson was. Every bit as cute and smart, I'm sure!

We've been at the hospital for fourteen hours now, and just found out we're dilated to seven. I'd say she will officially arrive within an hour, maybe ninety minutes. I'll keep things updated as we get new info!

"I Facebook, therefore I am."

This is not a drill... we are at DEFCON 2

2010-05-08T22:53:00.003-05:00

I have started most of my latest posts the same way: "It's been a while since I've posted."

This time, it's true. It's been since January, to be exact, and I'm breaking my blog silence to make an announcement - we're having our baby!

Maggie Elizabeth Morris is on the way tonight. Mommy's water broke at Ada and Angie's house and we had to leave in a rush. Grayson is staying at Mana's and we're checked into the hospital.

Cool fact number one: Maggie will be born in the same room as Grayson.

Cool fact number two: Grayson was born on Emily's birthday, and Maggie will be born on Mother's Day. (Yes. I'm feeling left out.)

Since I've basically stopped blogging regularly, this will be mostly to document our new baby's birth for our family... but if you're still checking in now and then, feel free to read along.

Almost a year...

2010-01-30T22:34:00.006-06:00

As a kid, I remember being irritated by clichés. A large part of my life was spent with my Grandparents, so I was subjected to a litany of them. My least favorite was "time flies."

As a kid, time never flies. Ever.

Even after I got out of school, time seemed to crawl. I wandered aimlessly through my twenties, wondering if I would ever see evidence of time "flying." Working in the electronics department at Wal Mart, time most certainly does not fly. Moving from town to town in radio was hard, but still, a year seemed like two.

My thirties, however, were a different story. Weekends started to feel like one day instead of two. Time spent with my daughter was fleeting and before I knew it, I was forty.

In 2004, I started blogging and came to know a fella named Gene Maudlin, alias Old Horsetail Snake. At first our relationship consisted only of blog comments. Then one night, as I struggled through a divorce, he reached out with a phone call and we talked for a couple of very reassuring hours.

Gene was a good man. Unfortunately, he was also in his later years, and had been a smoker most of his life. For him, time definitely flew.

I went to his blog one day and found an announcement that he had passed away. He's been gone now for almost a year... yet I can still pull up his blog. I read several entries from it tonight. For those of us who only knew Gene via the online world, he will never die. In this realm, time stands still.

Weird thing, the Internet. Every modification of every website... every single click of a key... is a snapshot in time. A placekeeper to remind us what was happening in that tiny sliver of a moment.

Good night, Gene. Your blog buddy misses you. Thanks for making it possible, via your blog, for us to still visit now and then...

Takes me home...

2010-01-26T08:30:00.007-06:00

No matter where I end up in the world, there will be one place that I call 'home.' It's ten miles from any town, down a gravel road miles from any highway. It's quiet out there... hours would go by without a single car.

As a kid, living there was a love/hate thing. You could see every star in the heavens and the silence, save an occasional gentle, summer breeze, was stark. Sometimes on a particularly quiet evening, you could hear the neighbor about a mile through the woods playing his harmonica.

We cut wood for the wood stove to heat the house, and the phone was on a party line, where occasionally you'd pick up and hear Lela Plumlee sharing a recipe.

I lived there with my Grandparents, and our relationship was great because, as you can imagine, we spent plenty of time talking. A kid needs social interaction with people his age, and there wasn't much of that. Until I got a set of wheels, I would sit on a bench in the backyard and fight off wanderlust. At night, I'd listen to far off radio stations to find out what the rest of the world was doing.

I learned a lot about life from that place, and not a day goes by that I don't miss my Grandparents dearly. Grandpa died, Grandma moved into town, and the old place was sold. When I left, I never looked back.

But from my current perspective, living in the city with crowds, bills and deadlines, I remember home fondly. I'm not wired in a way that would allow me to go back to that lifestyle, but there's a Glen Campbell song that occasionally pops up on my iPod, as it did this morning. When I hear it, I have a good cry.

Mail doesn't deliver to where my Grandparents are today, but if it did, I might write words like these:

(Love, Always) Letters To Home

You might think there's some big reason
Why I took this time to write.
The cards and letters...
There've been too few of those.
But I just stopped to realize
How long that I've been gone,
And there's a few small things I need to know.

Dear Daddy, do the whippoorwills still echo through the night?
Does the sound of silence squeeze the morning light?
And have you caught the big one in the pond just down the road?

I miss you so.

Well the years keep slipping by me
Like the miles out on the road,
But I don't guess I'll change my way of life.
There's no harm in holdin' memories
So please tell me if you can,
I need to bring those old times into sight.

Dear Mama, can you still find the dipper in the stars?
And do the roads still go for hours without cars?
And does the frost still shine cold mornings
On the grass outside the door?
Just like before...
Tell me more.

I'll be back to see you sometime soon.
Can you still reach out and almost touch the moon?

And do the old songs still ring out
Through the hills for days and days?

Love Always.

Merry Little Christmas

2009-12-25T13:17:00.003-06:00

May your blessings be many.

My life

2009-12-03T22:16:00.004-06:00

My trip has been so fruitful.
The people I've encountered,
Places I've been and
Things I've seen
Weave a tapestry of
Wild shapes and colors
With ups and downs,
Lights and darks,
Yin and yang,
So utterly unpredictable
That it makes the works of Chagall
Seem tempered.

Seriously?

2009-10-24T14:27:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's been four months since I posted on my beloved blog... it's definitely taken a back seat lately, considering how busy we've been.

We found out we're having another baby! That's great news. I agreed to another child so long as we did it early enough that I wouldn't be attending graduation ceremonies in my 70's. But nothing makes you feel younger than raising kids.

We're moving into a new home December 1, in time to be settled and ready for the baby's arrival in May. We're keeping our villa and leasing it out as an investment property. That will add a level of complication to life, but the option of selling has been removed by a poor housing market. That's OK.

My mom is working on trying to move closer - which would be a real relief. At the current distance, it's hard to get down to visit more often than once or twice a year. If she's closer, we'll be able to hang out more often.

Emily is enjoying her work, for the most part. Grayson is 18 months old now, and his vocabulary is exploding. He repeats what we say, so it's important to be careful! The other morning, I could have sworn he said "god damn."

Down the street is a bank. Well, it used to be a bank, but they've moved to a new facility up the street, so now it's an abandoned bank, complete with a drive-thru. Every time I pass by, I consider buying an old jalopy, putting a rubber skeleton in the driver's seat with a deposit slip in its hand, arm extended out the window, and park it by the drive-up window.

More later. I hope it's not THREE MONTHS this time.

Mmmm, brinner!

2009-07-03T20:18:00.002-05:00

On an episode of Scrubs, one of the characters mention that he loves breakfast for dinner... "brinner."

I'm not sure why it's so appealing to have pancakes for dinner, but it has long been a favorite of mine. Maybe it's because breakfast is comfort food, and at the end of a stressful day, it hits the spot. As a kid, I just remember Aunt Jemima and Johnny Carson making it all feel better.

iPhone 3g S, where the S stands for 'screw'

2009-06-15T21:06:00.005-05:00

I just pre-purchased my new iPhone 3G S, the third generation version that drops this Friday. It's clear to me that the S stands for 'screw,' which is what they do to customers who aren't yet eligible for a discount upgrade.

But did that stop this "must-have-the-latest-gadget" geek? Uh, no. I ordered the black 32-gig version.

It has video shooting and on-board editing, a 2x faster processor, on-board compass, 4g capability, (when AT&T gets around to upgrading their system, slated for late summer in some markets) voice control, and a slew of other features which make it pretty nifty.

Worth the upgrade? Depends on your taste and needs. For me, it's an easy decision, but I'd say sales will be less-than brisk unless AT&T decides to change policies post haste.

Signing off...

2009-06-12T08:41:00.004-05:00

Today is the day that television technology we've known since the 1939 RCA broadcast from the New York World's Fair becomes obsolete, and is completely replaced by digital television.

The huge bandwidth-hogging, fire-breathing analog transmitters will be turned off for the last time, replaced by lower-powered, more precisely and narrowly tuned ones utilizing a completely different technology and broadcast band. The old band will now be taken over by wireless mobile telephones, etc.

My first memories of television were the commercials. As a toddler, I would mentally drift through the actual shows, but when the commercials came on, I'd sit down and attentively watch. Grayson does the same thing today.

The first big television event I remember watching was the moon landing in July 1969. My grandparents had the volume turned way up and we were all staring, mesmerized. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

I think we've heard so much about this day, we've become desensitized to it. But what if someday, all radios just went "dark"... and only HD and satellite radio remained? Or, if gasoline powered vehicles just disappeared and we had to replace them with electric ones.

Goodbye snowy picture, see you later interference lines. No more rabbit ears with aluminum foil. Even though I've been completely digital for probably 9 or 10 years, it's still a bittersweet day.

Bom bom bom-bom

2009-06-09T21:13:00.006-05:00

Saturday May 30, 2009 began a new chapter for Emily and me. I love her with all my heart and can't imagine a more perfect match for my personality and life... or a better mother for my baby boy.

The Conservatory in Old Town St. Charles is a fantastic place for a wedding. It's a little on the expensive side, but they arrange everything for you and Gary makes sure everybody is in their place and knows what to do.

So now the honeymoon is over and we're back to our regular lives. I truly can't imagine anyplace I'd rather be.

RIP Regis Morris, July 1 2002 - May 18 2009

2009-05-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

When we discovered Regis had lymphoma, we felt like we might get lucky and have him at least a year. That was three months ago, and today we said goodbye.

It's been a long mourning process, knowing there is no cure for canine lymphoma. We were able, through chemo, to get him almost back to normal during much of his sickness... so we've been fairly lucky. But we knew the day would come when he could no longer endure the battle.

Today was that day. So long my boy, you have been with me through thick and thin. Love you, pal. You were the greatest pup any guy could ever want.

One night, a long time ago...

2009-05-13T23:01:00.005-05:00

I'm having a really cool experience and felt like I should record it here.

It's the end of a crazy day, and I'm sitting in the living room. The house is dark, except for the light of my notebook computer. Above me are huge windows which provide a fucking amazing view of gathering storm clouds. Now and then in the distance, lightning flashes across the sky. A half-minute later, a low rumble of thunder and a slight gust of breeze.

It's surreal... and it takes me back.

It was a night in 1978. The light of the computer would have been the glow of the dial on a portable AM radio. The station I was listening to, The Mighty 1090 KAAY-Little Rock, was playing "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac. I remember hearing the rain begin to hit my window and it felt like it was raining everywhere in the world. I felt this unexplainable combination of melancholy and elation.

It felt like the rain washed something away that night. Maybe my childhood, I don't know.

Tonight, my computer is providing the Fleetwood Mac... otherwise it feels eerily similar. I'm not sure what the rain is washing away this time.

What a trip.

... you live in a zoo...

2009-04-27T08:51:00.004-05:00

So. Forty-five. Today I am halfway through the period most noted for middle-age crises, the onset of gout and a last-ditch effort to cling to your youth by having a child.

So far I am two for three.

Phrases like "young at heart" and "patriarch of the group" are starting to sting. I still look 40, I guess. But at somewhere near this age, you start aging in bursts. You'll look the same for three years, then age five all at once.

You start worrying that every little pain is a disease. That other people your age are making more money, enjoying more success and are more healthy than you. You begin realizing that your vision isn't QUITE as clear, your thought processes aren't QUITE as fast, and the idea that you will skydive or whitewater raft for a living fades a little further into the din. (Oh, don't worry, the hope is still there.)

A family member sent me an email this morning to excoriate me for forgetting to pay their satellite TV bill this month. The great news is, I can more believably attribute it to forgetfulness. The bad news is, they didn't even wish me "happy birthday." All the better I suppose. I DO hope to someday forget this date.

Here's hoping it blows through like a gentle breeze. As Lucy Larcom said, "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come."

Yup. And I'm the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on Earth.

Time for me to fly...

2009-04-22T11:48:00.004-05:00

The symbolism of this picture is unavoidable.

He's getting so big.

A fine, fine Easter

2009-04-12T23:40:00.000-05:00

Hope you had a happy one! Regis and I did... Grayson and Em too.

525,600 minutes

2009-04-10T09:05:00.006-05:00

In the span of what seemed like only three months, we've gone from this:

To this:

Happy First Birthday, Grayson Thomas Morris! Your dad is proud of you and loves you very much.

In a pretty rare event, Emily gave birth to Grayson on HER birthday... so both are celebrating today. Love you Emily, happy first 29th birthday!

Pick up, it's for you

2009-03-27T09:08:00.007-05:00

My son has a toy phone, and when you push the various buttons, different recorded messages or sound effects play.

You'll hear things like "let's call Daddy," or "let's call Grandma." But on most of them, you just get a sound effect.

Most of the sound effects are as heard through the earpiece of a phone, like the sound of a phone ringing on the other end of the line. But the sounds that make me smile are the ones I know Grayson will never hear during the practical use of a real telephone. Things like a dial tone, or a busy signal.

I wonder why they even put those effects ON a phone these days. When he pushes those buttons, I always wax a little nostalgic.

So what is a child to make of one of THESE?

When I was a child, we were on a party line. Ever experienced one of those? You literally share your line with neighbors, so when you pick up the phone to make a call, it's possible that, instead of a dial tone, you'll hear their conversation. So you have to hang up and wait.

And wait.

Yeah, that Lela Plumlee was a talker.

And you are... ?

2009-03-26T23:36:00.004-05:00

It's been so long I thought about shutting the blog down permanently. It's sort of like when you haven't talked to a friend for a long time, and you think, MAN, I need to get in touch with so-and-so, but I'm pretty embarrassed I haven't made contact in such a long time. So you just decide to not call them.

But I've decided I'm keeping it going for now. We've come this far together, we might as well stick it out.

Speaking of sticking it out... Regis was nearly ready to leave us about two weeks ago, but the vet decided we should give him half a treatment of chemo as a last-ditch effort, and WOW. His lymph nodes are completely normal, he's back to his old chipper self again and it looks like we'll have him around for at least a while longer. Thanks, Regis, for pulling through!

I gave in to temptation and bought a watch today. Actually I had some old jewelry lying around so I traded it in (and the jeweler gave me an almost 50 percent discount off the price) on a new Seiko Velatura, kenetic energy watch. Self-winding, it's actually a rechargable battery-powered watch that has a little generator inside that recharges it when you move your wrist.

Great timepiece, it's my second favorite to the Breitling, and it brings my collection to 13.

Gray Sky Morning

2009-03-09T09:52:00.001-05:00

I just dropped my buddy off at the groomer and he was really lethargic and struggling for breath. His medication doesn't seem to be helping much but I remain optimistic. It's just hard watching him deteriorate.

Over the weekend I learned of the death of one of the greats in the voice over industry, Brian James. I also learned if the passing of an old friend, Doc Camden. Both were men I admired.

Friends are struggling with job losses or at least the impending possibility.

I learned that doctors are calling the cold I have the "100 day cough." I'm only about 45 days into it.

And it's Monday. And cloudy.

I just need some good news to help me break out of the funk. Anyone? Beuller?

(on the positive side Grayson just suddenly started walking like a champ! So there's that.)

The Long Goodbye to My Best Friend

2009-02-18T13:54:00.003-06:00

While petting Regis last night, I noticed a sizeable lump on his neck, and his yelp indicated it was clearly sore.

The vet confirmed my worst suspicion this morning, lymphoma. We won't be 100 percent certain until the pathology report comes back, but he's seen it a million times and there is little doubt in his mind.

I had pets as a kid, but have never bonded with them the way I have with Regis. He doesn't even seem like a dog to me, he seems like a full blown member of the family.

As usual, he's at my feet right now and those big, brown eyes are looking up at me. It's clear he's frustrated by the pain. I would do anything to take it away, but canine lymphoma never ends positively.

I expected that he and Grayson would be good buddies and do everything together. The first word Gray learned in sign language was "puppy." At dinnertime, Grayson sneaks bites of his food off the edge of the table for Regis to pick up. And to think he isn't even old enough to keep our "puppy" in his memory.

It's likely we have only three to six months left. You can bet we'll make the best of it, and be thankful for the seven great years he was here.

I miss him already.

A new favorite quote

2009-02-16T11:37:00.004-06:00

Jonathan Winters:

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it."

I love this for a couple of reasons. Jonathan Winters was one of my favorites, a comedy genius and incredibly intelligent. (former radio personality too)

But mostly for the message. Opportunity must be created. People get wrapped up in the wait, an incredible waste of time.

Another way we're totally screwing up our kids

2009-02-14T00:33:00.010-06:00

On Valentine's Day when you were a kid, how did you celebrate?

For me, each child brought a "Balumtimes" card for every other child in our classroom. They had those tiny envelopes, and we scribbled our classmates' names on the outside in red ink. Some were hand-made, others were pre-packaged Scooby, Barbie or pirate themed cards. But if there were thirty kids in the class, you had to bring thirty cards.

This is wrong for a number of reasons. First, and most obvious, we're using school time to perpetuate something ill-conceived and greed-motivated. I've never gotten V-D off, so it's not a real holiday. The Hallmark company, restaurants and florists make a killing! So much so, we contacted a florist Monday to set up a meeting to discuss our wedding floral needs and they told us to call back after V-D was over. They refused to even set up an appointment because love birds are clogging the system.

Needless to say, Mexico Road Florist can kiss my ass.

The second way we're failing our kids is, you're supposed to have one Valentine... not every kid in your class. One special person! We should teach our children to pick their favorite classmate and present them with a card. Sure, invariably, one or two of the kids will be left out. Good for them. No amount of book learning can equal what that kind of pain and humiliation teaches you.

So Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks Em, I love the gift you gave me. It's really very special.

And it's nice you didn't give one to every person "in the class."

Musical heaven...

2009-02-13T23:55:00.004-06:00

Tonight, between the drive home from the restaurant and taking the babysitter home, I enjoyed an approximately 50 mile trip with my iPod. Now and then, a sequence of songs fits together so perfectly, you actually file it away in your memory.

Tonight's completely random playlist:

Phil Collins - If Leavin' Me Was Easy
The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy
Clint Black - Better Man
Matchbox Twenty - Busted
10cc - I'm Not In Love
The Fray - Vienna
Melissa - Allman Brothers
Billy Joel - And So It Goes
Cross Canadian Ragweed - Sick & Tired
Dan Fogelberg - Same Auld Lang Syne
Steve Miller - The Joker
Eagles - Last Resort
The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect
Bob Marley - Jammin'
Warren Zevon - Exciteable Boy
Waylon/Willie - Luckenbach, Texas
Emerson, Lake & Palmer - From The Beginning
Korgi's - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime
Billy Paul - Me And Mrs. Jones

Every time I thumb through my 4,000+ song library, I think I should start a streaming radio station.

Ten minutes of hilarious television

2009-02-13T22:45:00.000-06:00

This proves Letterman is still the master, and Joaquin Phoenix is a total drug user.

The nine-month-old "chip off the old block"

2009-02-12T11:32:00.003-06:00

Grayson is getting more and more handsome every day. Good thing he takes after Mommy!

These are a few shots from his 9-month photo session.

Pay me to let you pay me

2009-02-10T22:43:00.002-06:00

Hidden service fees chap my ass.

At the travel agency last week, I was exploring travel insurance options. They quoted me a figure for coverage, and below the quote, in small print, it said "plus $8 processing fee per policy."

Processing fee??? No, thanks. If you're going to charge me extra to deliver the service you're quoting, you are a thief.

The outdoor ampitheater in St. Louis used to charge for parking. To me, that's a similarly offensive practice. Raise ticket prices if you must, but stop forcing customers to pay extra to be a customer.

Most companies charge you to pay your bill by phone or online. They have a healthy profit built in to those fees, yet it costs them less than classic invoicing via US mail.

In short, those who charge service fees are engaging in douchebaggery. Let them know, next time you have an opportunity.

Waterworks

2009-02-10T18:47:00.004-06:00

I'm not really a crier, but there are a few things that I just can't handle. Taps, for one. I don't have to know the person, the circumstances of their death... anything. Just hearing Taps makes me well up. I think it's probably because it was when they played Taps that I realized my Grandfather was really gone.

The 21-gun salute has a similar effect. Stories of selflessness can get to me. Watching my children sleep does it sometimes.

And the movie Field of Dreams.

What about you?

The secret to longevity? Apparently hyperbole.

2009-01-30T10:31:00.003-06:00

The Jack LaLaine Power Juicer infomercial somehow made it on my monitor in the studio this morning, and for a nanosecond I turned up the sound.

A perfectly healthy, beautiful woman came on and said "I couldn't live without my juicer."

Couldn't. Live.

He's saving lives with juice! Could I live without one? I can't imagine.

Presented without commentary

2009-01-29T10:16:00.002-06:00

A real blogger's blogger

2009-01-21T10:52:00.003-06:00

The guy who unwittingly swept me into blogging hysteria a few years ago* put a fine point on what it means to be a good blogger during his trip to Washington D.C. for the Obama inauguration.

He not only blogged, but Twittered as well. Check out Steve's work at Smays.com.

Today's 'everywhere' connectivity has inspired me to revise an age-old bathroom-stall limerick:

Here I sit upon the shitter,
Tried to blog but only Twittered.

*I have yet to do Steve proud. As the title says, he's a REAL blogger, I just flail my arms wildly hoping to hit something.

The Kroc genius

2009-01-13T19:31:00.002-06:00

In a cuisine world full of audacious, delectible and irresistible foods... there is still absolutely nothing like the taste of a fresh-from-the-fryer hot order of McDonalds french fries and a large, icy Coke.

The soda sold at McDonalds seems crisper and more carbonated. It tingles on the way down, causing an involuntary hiccup. And those fries...

Wow. Just sayin'.

Timing is everything

2009-01-12T19:37:00.005-06:00

On the way to the NYEPBWHNLPYC, the New Year's Eve Party for Boring "We Have No Life" Parents of Young Children, (for which, ironically, everyone ended up getting a sitter) we came as near to hitting a deer as I ever have. (aside from an incident one night when I was in a bar with Blitzen and he was firing hard on this married doe.)

We were driving on a dark, two-lane country highway (MO-79 north of 70, for you locals) and were about to meet an oncoming car, when a 12-point buck lept from the right side of the road, passed within 5-10 feet of our bumper and collided with the left-front side of the oncoming car exactly at the moment we were passing. (at this point, I was braking hard and hitting the shoulder)
There was a sickening noise, a cross between a thump and a crack, and the deer flew off the side of the other car, spinning wildly through the air, missing the left-rear of our van by inches before making a landing in the center of our lane right behind the van, just in time to be run completely over by the pickup behind us. I can imagine the damage was extensive to both of the other vehicles, while ours was left untouched.

Had we left the house one second earlier, we'd have hit the deer with the front of the van. One second later and the deer would have slammed into the side of our van.

We were in a perfect one-second window of safety. I can only imagine it's because I have a tremendously keen sense of timing. Ask anyone. Dave time is different than the rest of the world.

Incidentally, the next morning we were headed to the store and a two-car accident happened about 15 feet behind our van as we were passing. What the... ?

Pointless thoughts

2009-01-09T16:20:00.003-06:00

I've recently become a functional member of Facebook and it's actually pretty cool! Some folks I would NEVER expect to be on there ARE, and they are quite active.

I've heard it said technology keeps us from being the close friends we COULD be. I say it helps us be closer friends than we WOULD be.

If that makes sense...

-----

I've noticed that when you have a child, you stop trying to find parking spaces near the front door, and start looking for spaces near the shopping cart corrals.

-----

It's a short one today. Life's pretty busy and Grayson has a lung infection so he's not sleeping the best. Ah, parenthood! I need a beer.

One last longhorn...

2008-12-31T11:14:00.007-06:00

Technology is a take-no-prisoners juggernaut, leaving the destruction of Americana in its wake.

I love my HDTV, I am writing this on a new laptop while sipping coffee from an automatic grind, drip coffee maker. Technology and modern convenience are necessary "evils" in this forward-thinking, evolving world. I get it.

But sometimes I mourn the loss of the Cowboy. Not the kind that melted down in the run-up to the NFL playoffs. The real Cowboy.

The guy that didn't need a GPS to know where to poke the cows. He knew instinctively where to go and what perils lie ahead. We don't have instincts like that anymore.

The real cowboy knew the forecast by gut and by watching the horizon... NOT The Weather Channel, which was still 180 years away. Honestly, his forecast might have been more accurate.

Everything he needed was in his saddlebag. Rope, soap, beans and bacon, jerky, a kettle, flint rock, ammunition, coffee, cigarettes, salt, a good sharp knife, maybe a Bible, and most certainly a flask of whiskey. The essentials. No shampoo, no Blackberry, no 16 year old scotch, no pager.

He spent his time alone with his cattle. There was always enough time (and quiet) to think. His true love was likely the memory of a woman. His life was committed to his herd and the horizon.

His idea of luxury was a hot bath in the next town, which might be two weeks away. His "friends" were ranch folks and the occasional friendly Indian. His idea of mass transportation was the stagecoach he was escorting and defending, and his only communication was a telegraph wire. No cell phone, no text messages.

Just a man, his horse and the great outdoors.

There are cowboys today, but they're not the same. Real Cowboys are as extinct as purple sage and unowned land. They died when barbed wire and highways appeared.

Ironically, to those who enjoy today's advanced technology, it's popular to call those "simpler times." I would argue they were infinitely more complex and difficult.

Back in the day, it was common to find an occasional feral horse, saddle still on. That usually meant that somewhere, a cowboy had thrown his last rope and gone to meet his maker.

What I wouldn't give to have him back.

Aiden Bo Baiden

2008-12-26T08:40:00.005-06:00

The list of "most popular baby names" came out for 2008, and the boy names seem a little monotonous to me:

Aiden

Jayden

Ethan

Jacob

Caden

Jackson

Noah

Jack

Logan

Matthew

Aiden, Jayden and Caden? What about Baden, Faiden, Laden and Maiden? Ethan is my favorite on that list, but I might be a little biased, since I have a new nephew by that name.

For the girls, the most popular names were:

Emma

Sophia

Madison

Isabella

Olivia

Madeline

Addison

Hailey

Lily

Where's Emily, Jennifer and Susan ferchrissake? How could those just fall out of vogue?

I'm a rebel, I'm more likely to look at the list of popular names and choose something completely different.

-----

Big shopping day! Although this is one of the worst holiday shopping seasons in recent history, I have a feeling it isn't over. I might head out and see what kind of bargains are available today... which is being billed Black Friday, The Sequel.

I hope your Christmas was as great as mine was!

How the mighty have fallen...

2008-12-20T00:30:00.003-06:00

A few friends and I threw together an impromptu Boys Night Out tonight. We all have kids, so it's hard to go out and cut loose often.

Right after our kids' bedtime, we decided to rendezvous at a local dive called Ethyl's. It was crowded with a couple of Christmas parties, the music was really loud and it was entirely too smokey to enjoy.

There was also a hint of a possibility of sobriety checkpoints near Ethyl's, so we did the only sane thing - went to a place closer to home.

A bowling alley.

We hung out in the lounge* right under the wall of plaques commemorating members of the '300 club.' Ironically, we were poking fun at the names on the plaques while we WERE IN A BOWLING ALLEY DRINKING ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.

After a pitcher or three, it was nearing two of the guys' strict midnight curfew, so at 11:55 we were out the door.

And I'm all like "wow, you guys are pussies to have to be home so early." Like saying this somehow made me feel superior.

Yes, this is what it's come to. A bunch of 40-somethings trying to find a place where the music isn't quite so loud, the smoke not so thick, where we could stay out of trouble and avoid the cops.

And be home in time to keep the peace.

By the way, we still had fun, even though it didn't conclude as per normal - dining at 4 am at the Casa de Waffle.

*doesn't "bowling alley lounge" invoke an interesting mental picture? Can you almost smell the cigarette smoke, stale beer, Tombstone pizza and rental shoes?

Bookface*

2008-12-18T19:32:00.007-06:00

I've given in to an insatiable desire to spend even more time on the computer. I've joined Facebook.

Day one, I have 35-40 friends. I can't believe I know so many people who are also slowly wasting away to nothingness in front of their computer screens.

If you, too, wish to forget what your family looks like, go to Facebook and join. But be careful. If you get email on your mobile device and have a bandwidth limit, joining Facebook might put you over.

I have a slogan suggestion. Facebook... because I had forgotten all the reasons I stopped talking to these freakin' people in the first place.**

*Sounds like an insult that a librarian would use.
** I kid. I love my friends.

Haircut Day

2008-12-16T21:53:00.005-06:00

It's weird.

Today started with crappy roads and cold weather, which made the task of transferring the baby seat and driving both vehicles out so the van could get serviced rather dicey.

Then the session of one of my bigger clients, which was a very full page of several hard-to-read promos, was running a quarter-hour late.

I began the daunting task of bringing all of my billing in-house, which involves heavy levels of data entry and client contact. I did some banking and balanced the books, which is never a positive experience. (Why is it you never err in the positive? This time I was off less than 2-grand.)

The van wasn't finished on time so we ended up leaving it overnight, which isn't at all convenient.

The baby was very fussy today, as he struggled with teething and sinus congestion. He also had a diaper blow-out.

Not exactly a great day by any measuring stick!

And yet, at the end of it, I looked in the mirror and remembered I* got a haircut today. It's odd that such a simple event made such a positive impact. I look younger, it's easier to take care of, and it was a chance to socialize with the "barber"... the usual small talk about weather, the stock market and Christmas.

But it made my day. Renewing and invigorating, haircuts are.

*No, that's not a picture of today's haircut.

Dateline: Clearwater Beach FL

2008-12-13T14:12:00.000-06:00

We're poolside at the Sandpearl Resort on the beach, it's 70 degrees (a little cool for here) and I'm on my 3rd Pina Colada. The hottub is 103 degrees and we enjoyed the biggest lobster tail ever a couple of nights ago. I'll post pictures later, as if you really wanted to see them.

I need to remind myself I'm here on business. (98 percent pleasure, 2 percent business)

It's kind of Emily's and my gift to each other for Christmas.

Mobile Blogging from here.

MLB players, ownership completely out of touch

2008-12-11T09:36:00.003-06:00

Former Milwaukee Brewers phenom C.C. Sabathia nailed down the most lucrative contract ever for a major league pitcher. He'll be playing next year for the... you guessed it, New York Yankees, for a whopping 23 mil a year, under a total contract of 161 million for seven years.

Meanwhile the fans are wondering if they'll have a job tomorrow. Many of them have already lost one.

I'm a huge fan of baseball and capitalism, but the timing of this deal couldn't have been worse. New jobless claims are at the highest level in 34 years and people are struggling to find ways to pay their mortgage. How, then, will they pay a higher price for baseball tickets?

Look, when most CEOs are making substantially less than many baseball players and are being excoriated for their greed and ineffectiveness, paid huge sums of money while the consumer absorbs the shock, I wonder what color of lipstick MLB will use to dress up this pig.

This is a high, inside pitch to baseball fans. Somebody should warn the pitcher before the benches clear.

May you live in interesting times...

2008-12-08T10:44:00.005-06:00

That Chinese proverb will soon gain a new level of meaning for all of us.

My Dad has been warning me for a while that the paradigm of "normal" in this country will soon change. For a while I've been skeptical and pretty dismissive of his words. I am now changing my tune a little. Economically, all bets are off.

First of all, it's popular to criticize big business for greed and profiteering, (oil companies, banks, corporate employers) but it's important to maintain perspective. I agree, the exorbitant lifestyles of some of the CEOs, and the grotesque levels of profit made by the investors (stockholders) is a bit much, but I'm still a fan of profit. I don't blame someone for hopping on an elevator going up, and if a salary and benefits are offered to a CEO, it's personally irresponsible to decline it.

Unfortunately, stockholders and CEOs have been so bent on taking profits, there is little buffer for bad times. Those banks and corporations are the first to experience exigency when the economy degenerates. The popular recourses are now bankruptcy, layoffs and restructuring, which leaves employees in an unkind position. I fear that we as a public haven't even begun to understand how lengthy and severe this economic depression will be.

In our current economy (and the world economy as well), we've seen the first effects, drop in demand. Orders for raw materials have spiraled to serious, unprecedented lows. Consumer demand is dropping in most categories. Layoffs have begun, but we haven't even scratched the surface. As the impact filters down, business models are being jettisoned.

Deflation will be the next word of the day... and not for good reasons. The supply of money will dry up and the government cannot keep printing it. Prices will go down, and without a corresponding consumer confidence boost, they will not spur sales as intended. More companies will suffer losses, cut jobs and close their doors.

The biggest investment any of us have, our homes, have dropped in value precipitously. We (many of us, myself included) sit on a product that is worth less than we owe. This bubble-burst has been the elephant in the room for several years, as we saw 10, 20, and in some areas, 30 percent increases in real estate prices PER YEAR. Those of us who paid those prices are now left sitting on the edge with a stiff wind blowing. (and if you bought a home between 2000 and 2005, this is probably you)

Reality is now coming home to roost, my friends. I think we are living in VERY interesting times.

Iced cookies

2008-12-06T09:20:00.005-06:00

We hosted a little holiday get-together last night for Emily and Paula's "Mommy's Message Board" group and during the course of the evening, things got a little... shall we say out of hand? High stakes deals were made. Products/services changed hands. There were a few too many witnesses.

It had to be done. They knew too much and were acting all nervous and chatty toward the end of the night. Dr. Mike and I arranged for the "cleaning crew" to stop by and "tidy things up."

The holidays can be harsh.

It is just me, or...

2008-12-01T22:29:00.002-06:00

Do you also get a feeling of comraderie and synergy with the person in the car in front of you when your turn signals are blinking at exactly the same time and rate? It's like we're in the same positive chi aura. That, or we're both driving Chryslers.

Do you also feel bad when the Chinese restaurant delivers more fortune cookies than you need, indicating you're a big, fat, overeating hog? Is it really that unusual for one person to order Sesame Chicken, Kung Pao Shrimp AND Peking Duck?

Do you also wonder about what the hell kind of future lies ahead if Dippin' Dots will be our ice cream? (and how goddamn far into the future do I have to wait before I witness someone actually making a Dippin' Dots purchase?)

Are you also afflicted with an itchy rash on your arms after assembling and lighting a Christmas tree? I think I'll invent something called Tannen Balm* to ease the pain.

Do you also have a love/hate relationship with bumper stickers? I would never put one on my vehicle, but I am amused by the sarcastic, offensive ones, while completely put off by the "my son is an honor student" ones, and the latest rage, the stick figure family stickers.

Are you also having writer's block in YOUR blog world? I mean, look at the shitty material I came up with for this post. Surely it gets better from here.

*FUCK! I thought I had another Dave Original, but when I google "tannen balm" there are seven results. I swear I started this blog about 5 years too late.

Too few deaths?

2008-11-25T09:38:00.005-06:00

I snapped this photo in traffic recently. On the right, it says "If I had been at Kent State, there would have been one HELL of a body count." On the other side of the window, "LBJ's Hired Gun, 1968-1969."

To me, this demonstrates how the government is failing its veterans. God bless him for serving, and let's get this guy some psychological support, huh? He should be in the "play with the grandchildren" mode, not the "let's kill some folks" mode.

Comfy Genes

2008-11-25T09:21:00.003-06:00

I was once the final gasp of the Morris family name, its final resting place wherever my ashes were to be scattered.

But now the lineage lives on. This is the current crop, including my daughter Courtney, my son Grayson and my granddaughter Chloe. What a handsome group!

Another piece of Americana slips away

2008-11-18T14:07:00.003-06:00

Previous Anheuser Busch logo:

New Anheuser Bush/InBev Logo:

It's a sad day in America. Makes me thirsty for a Fat Tire or Sam Adams.

Photo and news

2008-11-15T11:18:00.004-06:00

We snapped this picture right after the baby was born and Courtney doesn't even look like she's just been through labor. She only "pushed" for about 25 minutes!

Chloe Elizabeth Morris was born at 4:42 pm at a weight of 7 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long.

Unfortunately, she looks a lot like the piece of shit sperm donor. Oh well looky there, I was going to try to keep this post positive.

It was discovered afterward that Courtney had been hemmoraging internally and things got a little tense. She had surgery and it's still to be determined if she'll need a transfusion. (she lost quite a bit of blood)

She seems to be better this morning.

Another Morris yonder comes

2008-11-14T11:36:00.003-06:00

My daughter Courtney is having her baby today, so I'm in Columbia for the festivities! She's working on it, but the baby isn't in a huge hurry right now. I think within a couple of hours we'll be welcoming Chloe Elizabeth into the world.

I'll post pictures soon. My official guess: 7 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches. (I just used Courtney's birth numbers) I'll let you know.

So my son Grayson is going to be a 7-month-old uncle. He's pretty stoked!

Mmmm, chinese food

2008-11-06T09:34:00.005-06:00

I walked into the kitchen this morning to pour a cup of coffee, and when I returned, I witnessed my son trying to eat his first wild game meal.
Kramer the cat was lying on his side. Grayson was straddling him, holding him by the front leg and the scruff of the back of his neck, and had Kramer's head in his mouth. Mmmm, fur.

Kramer was being very patient. He's a great, baby-friendly kitty. Maybe it's his old age.

I considered naming this post differently. Something about eating... something. Use your imagination.

White hood optional

2008-11-05T19:58:00.006-06:00

During Barack Obama's acceptance speech last night, I received a text from a "friend," Keith Mc... eh, I won't include his entire name. This is an unedited transcript, so if you're easily offended stop reading here.

Keith: I officially hate all niggers!
Me: Dude, you're a fucking idiot. Don't ever text me again.
Keith: Whatever u say nigger lover. Peace out
Me: Burn those bridges dude. Light the flame. Just don't text me again.

I wonder what Keith thinks about Obama's white half.

It wasn't the first racist thing he'd texted me, but until last night, I ignored and deleted them. Keith is young and somewhat ambitious, but he was obviously raised in an atmosphere of racism. The sad thing is, he has a one-year-old daughter who, it seems, will be raised in similar circumstances.

History

2008-11-05T07:15:00.000-06:00

Most wondered if we'd ever see the day.

I'm pretty fiscally conservative, so economically we have some differences... but this is a good thing on many levels. Godspeed, Barack. Keep her in the middle of the road.

Regardless of your politics...

2008-10-30T12:28:00.002-05:00

This is a great piece. I loved the "wassup" guys!

And you must admit, it's been a tough eight years...

Sorry, I'm a bad blogger

2008-10-28T06:10:00.007-05:00

Just a note to say I'm still alive. Grayson is going through his 6-month "let's make a parent's life hell" phase. Not sleeping right, teething, had an ear infection/fever for a few days. He's ultra-aware of everything now, starting to get the separation anxiety. Common things for a baby his age, though.

I'm starting to get some anxiety too. I'm really, really busy with work and I'm going way too long between forays out into the real world. (ah, the life of someone who works from home.)

Parenting is great. One minute life is fantastic, the next... you're questioning what the hell you're doing. At the end of the day, it all balances out.

And now after Em's been up half the night with our boy, I'm handling the second half. As I type, the horizon is beginning to turn orange. I love early morning, and I don't see the sunrise often enough. That is the gift Grayson has given me today!

There's your update. My blog used to be a busy place, but lately it's pretty quiet. If there was an emoticon that was a wrinkled smile, a touch of depression, an little excitement for the future and a little "oh god what did I do" all combined I'd use it here.

Edit for night two: (and by night two, I mean night two of this blog entry, but about night 6 of not getting even close to 8 hours of sleep) Dang I would love to get 8 hours of sleep. Just one night of 8 continuous hours of sleep. One.

Lady killer...

2008-10-21T17:15:00.004-05:00

Here's Grayson in all his Fall glory. He gets cuter every day...

Too cool for the room?

2008-10-21T15:22:00.001-05:00

Exactly what is this commercial about - an airline or a perfume?

This spot always makes me roll my eyes.

Man-rules

2008-10-18T23:53:00.007-05:00

While walking through Sam's Club with my friend Chris Friday, both pushing individual carts which, oddly enough, both contained diapers and wine, it occurred to me that there are very few instances when it's appropriate for men to shop together:

Anytime IF you're shopping at Home Depot, Sam's Club or Auto Zone.
At men's clothing stores IF you're intoxicated at the time, but it's never OK to try anything on. (right Dr. Mike?)
At girly stores (Bed Bath & Beyond, Macy's, etc.) IF you're intoxicated AND shopping for Easter/Valentine's/Birthday for a woman AND you don't make eye contact with the other guy.
Liquor store. (without restrictions)
Adult movie/bookstore IF you're shopping for a halloween costume AND you have a female escort. (Again, no eye contact with the other guy)
Bait/Tackle shop. (without restrictions)
Sporting goods store. (both of you MUST make a purchase)

There are no other known instances when shopping with another guy is considered appropriate.

Welcome to America...

2008-10-18T23:52:00.002-05:00

Not exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind, do you think?

When left to my own devices

2008-10-14T21:12:00.005-05:00

We returned from the East Coast this afternoon, to a nice clean house... albeit devoid of a cohesive food selection.

I thought about a Weight Watchers frozen chicken dish but it was freezer burned. (expired in February) I searched high and low for a frozen pizza, nothing. There aren't even any tortilla chips in the house I could eat with salsa.

So I was forced to improvise. While Emily is out playing Bunko and probably enjoying a full selection of appetizers, I made myself a sandwich.
Yes, it's an egg sandwich. With cheese. And pepperoni. And mayo.

I feel like it's pretty inventive. What's more, it tastes pretty good! No complaints here.

Semen's in...

2008-10-11T23:24:00.005-05:00

About three blocks from our hotel here in Mystic, Connecticut is one of the area's best seafood restaurants. It's called Seaman's Inne, and I can't drive by without giggling like a moron.

Yes Blogarita, there IS a Mystic Pizza, the actual restaurant after which the movie was named. The film (Julia Roberts' first) was shot on location in Mystic. You can have Mystic Pizza delivered anywhere in the US, although it's pretty expensive. I'd say on a scale of 1-10, their pizza is about a 6. Very good, (not great) but the ambience and novelty more than makes up for it. There is an old saying about pizza and sex... but I don't want to reference it in the same post as Seaman's Inne.
We stopped at one of the many roadside fish stands yesterday, and had lobster rolls and clam fritters, two things you can't find anywhere back home. It is clear to me that, where my diet is concerned, I will have to write this week completely off.
As we enjoyed our lobster rolls, Grayson enjoyed fresh Elephant.

C, in answer to your question, we were here during Christmas last year and took the Mystic Seaport tour. The old whaling ships are fascinating to walk through. We went below deck and found that the fishermen must have been really short. At 6'3", I had to duck almost the entire time.

We took Grayson for his first trip to the beach yesterday. He got to play in the sand a little, but given his tendency to put everything he touches in his mouth, we didn't let him play for long.

Speaking of, he got his first tooth today! His right-middle tooth on the bottom is poking through and he definitely has the teething attitude.

Tomorrow is the wedding (the reason we're here) and Monday we leave for home. I miss being able to do anything we want anytime we want, but Grayson has been a total joy on this trip. He's a great little passenger and he makes us smile a lot. I can't wait to take him on our next trip, especially as he starts being able to remember the things we do with him.

We be trippin'

2008-10-10T10:33:00.006-05:00

We picked the absolute worst time to drive through NYC. Traffic made me wonder how people live and work here without killing each other.

Yesterday, we took a break and hit a little cafe' called the Olympia Tea Room near Watch Hill in Rhode Island. We sat in their sidewalk seating area and watched the boats. We gulped down a double order of raw oysters-on-the-halfshell, then walked around the shopping area with Grayson until it started getting dark.

We're staying in Mystic, Connecticut at the Hyatt Place. It's a nice suite hotel with plenty of room for all our stuff. (traveling with a 6 month old, you have to take everything - the hotel staff thought we were moving in.)

We'll check in again later.

Oh and by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grayson, who is 6-months old today.

"Toby" and me

2008-10-06T22:20:00.002-05:00

This is a test post from another iPhone blogging service called cellspin. This is a picture of a guy named John who, in person, looks JUST like Toby Keith.

UPDATE: it appears cellspin cuts off the picture instead of resizing it to fit, thus you see only half of me. (although it IS my best half) I'm not sure how to fix something like that, so I'm pretty sure the application is worth what I paid for it. (free)

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Testing iBlogger

2008-10-06T21:19:00.001-05:00

I've downloaded a program that supposedly allows me to blog from my iPhone. I'm not really proficient at it yet so bear with me as I experiment.

Mobile Blogging from here.

Only after I downloaded the program was I made aware you cannot upload photos to Blogspot blogs. I paid 10 bucks and I'm very disappointed.

UPDATE: After registering the product and posting this, the owner of the software company visited the blog to follow up. (click the comment link) I appreciate that kind of service, and it does lift my opinion of iBlogger. After working with it a little, the program is very functional and useful. Its only shortcoming is the inability to post photos.

This is not a diet blog, only a diet post

2008-10-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

It's going really well in the "O'Fallon's Biggest Loser" contest. Oh sure, it helps when you go to Melting Pot and consume 3 pounds of fondue cheese the night of the weigh-in, but I've already lost six pounds.

Only 24 more to go.

Night

2008-10-01T21:50:00.004-05:00

It's late and there is a cool breeze blowing in the window of my office. I'm listening to a Billie Holiday/Frank Sinatra jazz station streaming in from some far corner of the world. A cup of hot tea is helping me stay focused on paperwork.

Em had class tonight so Grayson and I had lots of time together this afternoon. I think he's showing signs of teething - he was pretty cranky and needed direct contact a lot, so I ended up holding him most of the evening. He sat on my lap and we watched television awhile, but mostly he just watched what I was doing.

I didn't get much work done, but there won't be many nights like this. Good times...

O'Fallon's Biggest Loser

2008-09-29T19:07:00.007-05:00

Arguably I could win this one hands down.

But this is a weight-loss contest. I must say I'm completely prepared... considering I am a fat bastard that could exist totally on undigestible materials.*

Last night was weigh-in and measurement time, and today was Day One. My diet today?

Breakfast - I cut a fart and ate it. Then I choked down a spider web and chased it with a shotglass of diet tonic water. (which was actually vodka but why does Emily have to know?)

Lunch - Marmoset jerkey and a soup of toenails 'n barley.

Dinner - Considering the stock market freefall today, I had to fight the urge to eat an entire skillet of Hamburger Helper, which is great depression food. Instead, I had rubber bands in (low sodium) teriyaki sauce. (and much more "tonic")

Dessert - distilled water. (Gilbey's brand)

Day one wasn't so bad. I'm feeling a little weak.

*I wonder why nobody's thought of the idea. Eat nothing but marbles for twelve weeks. You get a full feeling while subsisting on the ugly brown fat.

RIP Paul Newman

2008-09-27T10:30:00.004-05:00

Man, the good ones are going fast.

At 83, Paul Newman succumbed to cancer today. A philanthropist in his own category, he lived a life that any mother, son, daughter or wife would be proud of. One of a kind.

So long, Butch. Godspeed...

Final wrap and pics from The Eagles

2008-09-24T10:39:00.006-05:00

Welcome to the Hotel California. (has it really been thirty-two years since that song came out?)

After the concert Saturday night on the way home, I realized I had done something I probably would never have the chance to do again. The Eagles won't tour forever, Frey will be 60 this year. Just to see a band that was so influential during my childhood was a very moving experience. It made me feel old and young at the same time.

Of all the concerts I've seen (and that number is in the hundreds) this competed with Garth Brooks for the best. They were DEAD on with everything. Vocally the guys are all still near the top of their games. The audio experience was perfect. The projection screen in back added nice depth and meaning to the music. Meisner, Felder and Leadon are missing and it's not exactly the same without them... but they are still The Eagles.

And I will never forget the night.

The crowd was into the show, but this guy (who happened to be a row in front of us) stole my heart. He was utterly enveloped in the music, oblivious to everything around him except to occasionally turn around to prod his friends into standing and swaying.

More often than not, people like that get weird looks... but I think they've got it right. I actually wish the rest of us were more like him.

An Eagles live blog event

2008-09-20T19:44:00.004-05:00

I'm live at the Eagles concert at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis. Our seats are pretty spectacular - we got them through an American Express cardholder pre-sale. I've never paid 200 for a concert ticket before. We're probably 50 feet from the stage and Dr. Mike and I have made a bet about the first song. I say "Already Gone" and Mike is going with "Hotel California." he is full of shot of course, they'd never start with that song.

I'll let you know!

UPDATE 8:45 pm: Mike technically won. They played Hotel California fifth. Witchy Woman and I Can't Tell You Why are among the first set of 10 songs. The sound is amazing and the guys sound 25 years old. In oh, Lyin' Eyes is on, gotta run...

UPDATE 9:45 am, 9/21/08: During the previous three paragraphs and after writing about two more fairly lengthy ones on this post, my iPhone browser had crashed about five times, so I gave up. Hey Apple, STOP airing commercials about the "total internet," and how much better Mac products are than PC/Vista until you can get a simple browser to function reliably on your platform.

I'll write more later tonight from my never-crashed-once Vista laptop, and I'll post pictures as well.

Captionating

2008-09-17T23:01:00.006-05:00

You have got to be shitting me.

If they're good enough for Ditka...

2008-09-17T23:01:00.003-05:00

Is the bear worthy?

Yeah, OK. It's worthy.

I must have caught the flu last night

2008-09-14T20:39:00.002-05:00

Our friends Wendy and Chris threw a righteous '007' party last night, where each attendee dressed up as a character from a James Bond movie. As you might imagine, Pussy Galore was well represented and so were martinis.

Em was Dr. Christmas Jones, wearing scrubs and a santa hat, and I was an extra from one of the pool scenes, wearing swim trunks and a T-shirt. Yeah I took the easy way out - although halfway through the night I put on my second 'costume' by applying gold paint to my left middle finger.

Em came home early and I grabbed a ride home later. I must have gotten the flu at the party because two hours after I got home and passed out on the couch, I woke up and had to run to the restroom. I haven't puked in forever.

The flu sucks.

Peach Face

2008-09-10T09:32:00.003-05:00

Grayson has begun eating solid foods. (well, as solid as pureed bananas and sweet potatoes can be)

It appears he doesn't like peaches... or is it just me?

A smattering of photos (and by "smattering" I mean two)

2008-09-08T23:20:00.005-05:00

While the van was in the shop getting $2,100 in repairs for a hit-and-run, I rented this:

It made me miss my old pickup. The Toyota Tundra is a really nice truck, but got really bad mileage. I'd prefer the Tacoma if forced to choose one.

-----

Last weekend I made my famous Skidmark Chili. It was probably the best batch I've ever made, with just the right mixture of savory, sweet and hot. It's very chunky and features five kinds of meat.

Dr. Mike printed up a shirt to commemorate the event.

Yeah that's right. I'm smooth.

Helium's illegitimate little brother

2008-09-08T11:40:00.003-05:00

From the "I didn't know that" file:

I need to buy cans of both and keep them in my studio.

Other such fun videos courtesy of Wired.com here.

Oh that makes me feel better...

2008-09-06T12:45:00.005-05:00

I had a procedure yesterday in which they removed two "curious" moles from my back. When I returned home I told Violet that I might have to depend on her to change the dressings on them, considering they are well outside my reach. Sure, she said, no problem.

I hate to ask her to do that kind of thing - nobody wants to look at someone's oozing, laced-up incisions. Her reply: "Eh, I'll probably have to change your diaper some day, so what's the difference?"

Sometimes Vi can be quite the beyotch.

This is the Bandit, signing off...

2008-09-02T20:01:00.004-05:00

Jerry Reed died today. Actor, singer, songwriter, and a helluva nice guy. If there's a heaven, Chet Atkins is smiling... he got his old pickin' partner back.

R.I.P. Jerry. He was 71.

If you love good picking, you won't find much better than this. It's under 2 minutes and I think you owe it to yourself.

If you're too young to remember his early movies and singing career, you would probably recognize him as opposing Coach Red Beaulieu in The Waterboy.

"In a world..."

2008-09-02T11:47:00.003-05:00

Don LaFontaine has died.

He was the voice of about 5000 movie trailers, countless commercials, nearly all the big awards shows and was a hero of mine.

R. I. P. Don.

Here's his website. And here are a couple of videos you'll enjoy.

Gustav and Hanna and Ike, oh my...

2008-09-02T10:18:00.004-05:00

I spent a big part of the weekend watching coverage of Gustav in real-time, both on the Net and the bird. New Orleans dodged a bullet this time, considering cities aren't meant to exist below sea level BY THE SEA.*

I wonder how much bitching there will be when people get back home and find out they didn't have to leave after all. You can never please all the people all the time. I am very happy for the folks of N.O., good for you guys! Let's hope you are out of the woods for the rest of the season.

Now on the heels of Gustav come Hanna and Ike, both threatening to wreak havoc along the eastern seaboard over the next two weeks. This pattern is definitely a boon for TWC.

Otherwise our weekend was one big BBQ/party/family fest. Not very restful, but definitely worthy of the label "among the best-ever Labor Day weekends."

*I love New Orleans and hope it remains forever as a monument to human ingenuity and sticktoitivness. I just hope they finish the work on those levees... I can't believe three years after Katrina they still aren't completely shored up and strengthened.

I'm a PC

2008-08-31T10:13:00.003-05:00

Apple has been squelched in the UK for dishonest advertising. Apparently their characterization of iPhone's "full access" to the web has rubbed some Brits the wrong way, and they've taken their complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority.

I agree. As a business owner whose website is Flash-based, (therefore can't be viewed on the iPhone) I find it disingenuous. It's not cool to exclude plug-ins as important as Flash or Java and advertise your product as having full access.

My suggestion to Apple would be to bury the hatchet with Adobe and put the user first. If the iPhone is to be truly revolutionary, it needs to be able to do most of what a laptop can. Don't get me wrong, this phone is a real move in that direction, but there are other smartphones who do support Flash and CAN display my website.

I'm also disturbed by the vague manner in which Apple releases iPhone bug fixes. The description they provide for the software update is simply "bug fixes." At a time when your product fails to function as promised and is portrayed negatively in the headlines daily, it's time to be up-front about exactly which bugs are being fixed, and what kind of experience a user can expect with the new release.

The Mac vs. PC commercials are also a little puzzling to me. I've considered getting a Mac on several occasions and I'm closer now than ever to taking the plunge. But I don't understand the portrayal of Vista as being prone to crashing... I am pretty sure I have never experienced a Vista crash, and I'm a heavy user. It may be a resource hog, and like previous Windows releases, people may not have immediately adjusted to it, but it works fine for me.

It's incumbent upon a company to portray its product in as positive a light as possible and to demonstrate superiority over its competitors. It's also incumbent upon them to be honest and open. I think Apple is pushing it a little.

The iPhone has an opportunity to be the revolutionary tool it's being touted as, and I'm confident Apple will fix the issues and provide a very fulfilling experience for its customers.

By the way, I've had more than a few dropped calls on my new iPhone... and I'd really love to be able to open my company's website.

Hockey: it's more than a sport, it's an insult

2008-08-29T12:28:00.004-05:00

Now I have another term to be sick of.

Watching political coverage of this morning's announcement that Sarah Palin is John McCain's choice for VP, I've heard the term "hockey-mom" so much I want to puke.

Hockey-mom, soccer-mom, etc. are completely irritating nicknames. If I were a mother I would feel completely insulted.

And as I was writing this, there were two more HM references on the cable news channel I watch in the recording studio. God, STFU with hockey-mom already!

Palin for VP

2008-08-29T09:41:00.001-05:00

John McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.

I probably beat a lot of web services to this news, even as I sit here in my robe at my kitchen table. Gotta love New Media...

Charter: "We got innernet"

2008-08-29T09:25:00.008-05:00

A search term that will help folks get to this article:

Can't send email through Outlook with Charter

Hopefully this will save you time. Charter practices port blocking. (see the bottom of this article for possible solutions that may work for you)

There are a lot of good reasons to practice port blocking - it cuts down on spammers, viruses and worms, adware/spyware, etc. The negative side effect is, sometimes it prevents certain services from working. For instance, email services and programs use a port (think of it as a tunnel through a wall) to send email. The normal port they use is 25, so Outlook defaults to that port anytime you set up an email address.

Charter blocks that port to prevent people from spamming through their system. (think of it as a guard at the tunnel) Fine, no problem. But they need to be open about that to their customers.

Three mornings ago I opened my laptop and discovered I couldn't send email. At that time I had no idea what port blocking was so I figured it was a temporary thing. When the problem persisted, I called Charter and over the course of two days, talked to three different "tech support" people. (in quotes to convey irony) They ran down their litany of canned solutions, probably straight from a cheat sheet list.

Even though I explained the problem in detail multiple times, they persisted in pointing their finger at Outlook, my computers and my router. (although ALL of them were afflicted with the same symptom at the same time)

Finally, it occurred to me that perhaps the port was the issue, and that Charter had made some sort of change. A quick internet search answered my question. The odd part, none of their tech support people, even their "supervisor of tech support," (even BIGGER quotes) had adequate knowledge to help me fix the problem. Google did.

This is rookie work from a company who provides a substantial percentage of Americans with internet service. They cost me at least a half-day of work.

Here's a solution that may work for you if you're having the same problem. Navigate accordingly:

Tools>Email Accounts...>View or change existing email accounts. Choose the account you'd like to edit and click "change." Click "more settings," then click the "Advanced" tab. The number next to "Outgoing server (SMTP)" is probably 25. Try changing it to either 587 or 2525. Port 587 worked for my Earthlink account, 2525 for my business accounts.

Good luck.

Femme Fantasy Football

2008-08-28T11:40:00.004-05:00

Emily is involved in a fantasy football league.

I'll let that sink in.

...(checking my watch, drumming fingers, hum dee dum)...................

Okay, so this morning we're sitting at the Rendezvous having coffee and we're trying to think of an acceptable team name. Some of the ideas I contributed (which were all declined):

The Fighting Tampons
The Tight Ends
The Girth Seekers

See, it's just hard for me to wrap my mind around a female fantasy football league without the crude references.

So any ideas for Emily's team name? Do tell.

And now on the health beat...

2008-08-25T22:40:00.001-05:00

At age 44, I'm more in-tune with health studies, stories and issues than ever. I'd like to live to at least age 200, and knowledge will be my catalyst. (and scotch, but that's another story) Here are a few news stories that have floated to the top lately:

They will soon be able to use nanoparticles to direct chemicals to cancerous tumors.

"Cancer researchers have been trying to figure out a way to better deliver drugs, such as those used in chemotherapy, to cancer cells without blasting surrounding cells as well. Last week, scientists at Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif., devised a way to use single-walled carbon nanotubes as targeted medicinal delivery vehicles."

This is an exciting development. I predict that in only a matter of ten to twenty years, as data and research capabilities increase exponentially, we will have cures for many or most diseases - including aging.

---

Is that red plastic foreign material in your Hot Pocket or are you just happy to see me?

"Nestle Prepared Foods Company is recalling about 215,660 pounds of frozen stuffed pepperoni pizza sandwich products, known as Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza, because the product might contain small pieces of hard red plastic and other foreign material, which pose a risk of serious injury to consumers."

Part of my health regimen has always been to avoid Hot Pockets at all costs.

---

Is there a fairly simple surgical procedure that can cure diabetes? One doctor thinks so, but he's met with skepticism from his peers.

"In one experiment, he rerouted the upper part of the small intestine of animals that were diabetic (but not obese) so that food did not enter that part of the gut. Sure enough, those rats were cured of diabetes. Next, he compared gastric bypass in obese rats with a "draconian diet" to see whether the operation's effect on diabetes was solely linked to the animals' weight loss. "The operation was more powerful than the diet," he says. Finally, he did a similar comparison between surgery and insulin-boosting meds. Again, the operation won out."

Does this mean I can eat Laffy Taffy by the pound again?

---

Ever wonder how men think of their age? This guy hits it pretty much on the head.

"I have this theory about men and aging. We have two ages: the age we really are, and the age we are in our heads. Most men are almost always about 31 or 32 in their heads — just ask them. Even Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons” is 31 in his head. One of the most universal adult male experiences is of standing before a mirror and saying, "I'm sorry, but there's been a horrible mistake. You see, that's not really me in the mirror there. The real me is tanned, throws Frisbees, and kayaks the Columbia River estuary without cracking a sweat."

I look about three or four years younger than I am. I'm OK with that, but I seriously hate how the sun damages us over the years. I would look another five years younger without Sol's toll.

---

It's possible we've found an HIV cure.

What an incredibly complex and daunting task. If this works, it could be the most phenomenal medical accomplishment yet. I hope these guys find their financing.

I am also fascinated by the idea that miniature robots, nanobots mere microns across, will soon propel themselves through our bloodstream with a programmed destination and set of orders to kill specific viruses, diseases and mutant cells.

Dregs List

2008-08-25T10:41:00.002-05:00

I'm searching for a reasonably priced, used vehicle for my daughter. Her '94 Taurus is on its last leg, so I'm using Craigs List to shop around.

Saturday I answered an ad for a 2001 Honda Accord EX with less than 50,000 miles, priced at $2,930. (I figured it might be too good to be true but hey, I've never shopped Craigs List before)

Here is the response I received: (feel free to skim, it won't take long to get the gist of the note)

Hello and sorry for my delay, I`m Sgt. Harold Topping. The 2001 Honda Accord EX 6 CYL is in perfect working condition. This vehicle engine runs very, very smooth. This detailed vehicle makes the exterior look like it just came off the assembly line. The car has only 49,883 highway miles. VIN # [number redacted] ·
A/C.· Alloy
wheels.· Anti-lock
brakes.· Anti-theft
system.· Automatic
transmission.· Cruise
control.· Leather
seats.· Power
seats.· Power
mirrors.· Power door
locks.· Power
windows.· Power
moonroof.·
CD-player.

Here are the pics of the car : [link redacted]
(if the above link does not work copy and paste it into a new
web browser window)

As I know that my current situation is pretty special I want the deal closed only through eBay's Buyer Protection Program in order for you to be 100% protected. You will make the payment to eBay and they will hold the money until you receive the car. ONLY AFTER you receive the car and you inspect it(for 10 days) eBay will release the payment to me; in this way we are both
protected. Anyway i am sure that if you will don`t be satisfied about the car i will surely find another buyer in your area and there will be no need for you to ship the car back. I am located in Zagreb, Croatia and I was sent here to improve the military relationships between USA and Croatia. One months ago, my wife moved here with me and brought the car with her, but now we have to sell it back in the United States because we can't register it here; it has US specs and
everything, and registering it here in Europe will take for ever. My final price on it is US 2,930 $. If you will take it for this price, I am willing to handle the shipping. It will be shipped from here by plane with US Air Military Cargo so it will not cost me anything. You will get it to the nearest airport in your area and then it will be trucked forward to your place. You will receive the car in about 3 max 4 business days. Please get back to me asap if you decide to buy, and include in your e-mail your full name and address where you want it shipped so I can start the deal with eBay. You will receive all the transaction payment and shipping details from them.

Thank you and have a great day,
Harold Topping

Sure I may be missing out on the car purchase of a lifetime, but I am pretty sure I'm just avoiding being bilked for $2,930.

The moral of the story - be careful with ads on Craigs List. If they don't list a phone number and the deal appears too good to be true, it's probably a scam. (the car in question blue books for three times that amount)

Craigs List is the latest breeding ground for the scam artists who live off of the misplaced trust of their victims. If they don't work harder to reduce the scammers, (as eBay did) their reputation will suffer.

For those keeping track

2008-08-22T10:21:00.003-05:00

Olympic medal count courtesy of the NY Times. There is a natural advantage for the home country, but China is doing substantially better this year (in medal count and total # of gold) than anytime in modern history.

Dollar store thoughts

2008-08-21T23:03:00.005-05:00

I don't understand Viagra commercials. They feature guys making romantic dinners for their women, dressing up in the tuxedo from their wedding, sitting in a hot bath overlooking the ocean, etc. Look, you just took a boner pill. Strike while the iron's hot.

-----

Why is it people grind meat into hamburger, then mix stuff into it to make it stick together again?

It's called a steak. Try it sometime.

-----

The news media spent a week talking up the latest Bigfoot sighting, only to find out it was a hoax. A hoax? Who could have predicted that? I've seen him a bunch of times eating beef jerky on TV.

Fill a rubber gorilla suit with road kill, put it in a freezer and Katie Couric shows up. Which is why I get my news from Comedy Central.

-----

Also in the news lately, a baby whale in Australia strayed away from its mother and was being tracked by marine biologists in boats. The whale had been attacked by sharks, hadn't eaten in days and wasn't coping well.

So they put it down. Veterinarians decided it couldn't survive on its own.

But couldn't the whale have just been left alone so we could all imagine it found its mother and lived happily ever after so we wouldn't be crying uncontrollably on our keyboards while our ice cream melts and the computer's low battery light blinks urgently in the night?

Pet peeve

2008-08-21T14:53:00.001-05:00

People who form nicknames for others (or themselves) using the first syllable of the person's first name, followed by "ster." Example, Davester.

Secondary peeve for usage of the suffix "meister." It's all sooo early 90's.

Crash, bang, crack 'em up, put 'em back again

2008-08-21T10:49:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I think our two vehicles are unwitting toys in a huge Smash-Up Derby.

As I was wiping off the front of the van after a wash a few days ago, I discovered it had been hit. Less than three thousand miles on it and it's already in the body shop.

Damn, that's all.

I'd love to have one of those dash cams and get the license plate of the person who hit the van. It would be lovely to send Officer Friendly to visit them and extract the $1,600 it's going to cost to fix the grill and bumper.

I'm a freak about taking care of a vehicle. I keep them clean, change the oil when it's needed and repair the least little thing that breaks. You pay a lot for a car so you might as well keep it ship shape.

Here are a few tips. You shouldn't have to touch the outside of your car unless you're washing it. Rubbing up against it causes scratches, and sitting metal or hard plastic items on the hood harms the paint.

The cups they give you at McDonalds leak, so if they're left in the cupholder, expect a sticky mess. (While we're on the subject of cupholders, they aren't change repositories.) Leaving bug juice on your car long-term will cause permanent marks. The trunk isn't a mobile storage space.

Don't get me wrong, I still leave shit in the trunk and an occasional cup in the cupholder. My bad!

Sampling of stools

2008-08-19T12:42:00.004-05:00

I get at least 2 or 3 hits per day on my blog Googling the term "firm stool." A while back, after a trip to Mexico, I openly discussed being in search of a firm stool, and apparently I'm not the only one.

I'm pretty sure I can help. For those of you finding my blog* by searching the term "firm stool," here are two links that may help:

WebMD

Barstools

You're welcome.

*I show up 5th on the list out of 2,600,000 results. Wow...

How you say... bland?

2008-08-19T09:46:00.006-05:00

As I was watching the Today Show crew discussing and sampling different Chinese cuisine this morning I wondered... is Chinese food in China any better than Mexican food in Mexico?

Every time I've traveled to Mexico I've been disappointed with the flavor of the food. We've Americanized to the extent that real, authentic Mexican cuisine seem a little flat. I wonder if we've done the same to Chinese food.

Mmmmm, I love me some Chinese. I'm calling Number One now. Or maybe New China. Eh, their menus are identical.

As an aside, if anyone knows the recipe for Ta-Chin Chicken, I'd love you forever. It's a dish they served in Columbia MO at place called Wang's Mandarin House, and I can't seem to find it anywhere... it's a crispy chicken dish with onions, green peppers and a delicious spicy brown sauce.

Mad Men

2008-08-17T22:34:00.004-05:00

There is something beguiling about this AMC television series.

I set our Tivo to record it after hearing enough hubbub to peak my interest. I LOVED what I saw and like any good series, it made me want to watch all episodes from the pilot forward.

If you haven't seen it, the show is set in the dawn of the 60's at an advertising agency called Sterling Cooper. This appeals to me for a number of reasons... I was born only a few years later, and I'm in the advertising business. The series is only kind of about advertising, though, with the plot focused mostly on the lives of the characters.

Its period accuracy feels a little stereotypical, sort of like it's been filtered by our optimized memories and the movie Pillow Talk... but that is part of the appeal, and exactly what the producers were shooting for. Everything from clothing to family structure (bread-winning father, stay-at-home wife, well-behaved children) is staged perfectly to make the show sort of feel like a caricature of itself. (a la Sopranos, and not surprising since writer Matthew Weiner is a Sopranos alum)

The characters possess zero realization that the world in which they are cozy is about to change dramatically. With the Kennedy era on the horizon, the cold war shifting into high gear and Woodstock and hallucinogens lurking in the not-too-distant future, it makes the 20/20 hindsight of the viewer feel even more delicious. The entire country is on a precipice... and nobody knows.

Back in the early 60's men were men, kids were less dependent on television and did better in school, and life seemed easier. Unfortunately women were relegated to mostly support jobs and housewivery, and lots of molds were yet to be broken. Both the positive and negative social aspects are accurately portrayed and sometimes accentuated for effect.

I really look forward to Sunday nights, much the same way I did during the run of The Sopranos. 9 pm central, AMC.

Apparently God is the IRS

2008-08-17T11:38:00.004-05:00

This morning on televangelist Joel Osteen's program:

"You learn you're gonna get a refund on your income tax. That's not a lucky break, that's not a coincidence. That's God letting you know you're on his mind. He's directing your steps, orchestrating even the smallest details of your life."

No, I think it means you've been having too much deducted from your check every week.

And didn't athiests also receive the $600 stimulus checks? What is that, a bribe from God? Hush money? C'mon, Joel. We need answers.

Text me a beer

2008-08-16T23:01:00.005-05:00

Ah, drunk friends.

Last night we enjoyed a delicious barbecue at Mike & Paula's with another couple, Wendy & Chris. On the way home, we discussed how those barbecues have changed since we had the baby. Before, we probably would have remained on the patio, built a fire and made smores, consumed copius amounts of Shreks and lied to each other until about 2 am. Now when the baby yawns, we head home to put him to bed.

Apparently the party continued after we left, because at about 9:30 I got two text messages from Mike and Chris, advising me to check my lawn.

Oh boy, payback from the time we TP'd Mike's yard.

It turns out these bastards were too lazy to do an actual TP, and performed a virtual one... which involves little more than saying you did it.

I'll tell you what though... a virtual TP-ing is pretty effective. It made me look, and just for a moment, believe. That's all they needed.

Extra saturated fat, please

2008-08-16T22:37:00.006-05:00

Where fast food is concerned, my favorite restaurant is Wendy's. Tonight as I watched a commercial for the new "Baconator," I wondered why they couldn't have come out with this sandwich back when I didn't give a shit about my health.

Two huge beef patties, cheese, more cheese and 6 slices of bacon. That's probably 1/3 pound of hog. They don't even bother to offer healthy toppings like lettuce or tomato. Hell no.

Just the name Baconator brings to mind arterial clogs, hypertension, stents and other such things. I'm pretty sure you'd need to pop statins like they were Skittles prior to consumption.

Steady, Dave. Steady...

Batteries (included)

2008-08-15T23:51:00.006-05:00

I bought a new laptop a couple of weeks ago. With a Vista 64-bit operating system and processor operating at a speed of almost 3 gigabytes, half a terabyte of storage and 4 gigs of ram, it runs cooler and much more efficiently than previous laptops, which allows me to run resource-hogging audio and video software.

Today I bought a 12-cell battery for it, which gives me a full six hours of use per charge. I've never gotten better than two to three before, so it's quite an improvement.

Eventually everything will run on batteries, including vehicles, and they will charge automatically just by setting the appliance near the charger base. (or parking the car in the garage)

Video killed the radio star...

2008-08-15T23:39:00.004-05:00

Today I conducted my first video shoot. I am producing a commercial that I will play no part in - no voice, no on-screen appearance, no apparent presence at all.

Let me tell you something... anyone who works in broadcasting of any kind does so (at least partially) for the ego stroke. This video project is quite a departure for me. Em's Dad is an attorney and we're putting together a series of three television commercials for his practice.

I'm doing it in high definition. I rented lights, bought a microphone and software for the project and am feeling pretty good about it. I'll let you know how it came out. It's strange - at this point in my life, ego is no longer a thing. I like that.