LAS VEGAS, Aug. 30 — Las Vegas bills itself as ''the wedding capital of the world,'' but late-night revelers who decide they want to tie the knot now must wait until morning.
The county's marriage-license office, as of Wednesday, will be closed between midnight and 8 a.m., when much of Las Vegas is still very much alive. (LINK)
What kind of politically correct, wussified, cowardly, bullshit-world have we become???*
Las Vegas is the oasis of spice, debauchery and hookers in a figurative desert of sameness, boredom and "righteousness." When I want those things, I go to Iowa.
But Vegas is the place where you can see trannies dance, people puke up their $4.99 lobster dinner because of the free alcohol (oh wait, neither of those things exist anymore - my bad) and idiots on the precipice of insanity take the foolish dive into the hell that IS marriage because they drank too many Jaeger bombs. It's a beautiful thing!
And now it's over?**
Look, I know gambling is a sin. I realize buffet gluttony is an assault against the lord's temple, and yes... I am even aware that prostitution is frowned upon in certain religious circles. But come on! People should be allowed to enter the loving, tender, wonderful institution of late-night, alcohol-induced matrimony when the urge strikes. Make 'em wait until morning, and many of them will lose their
buzz, er, gutts, bread tie they were going to use as a temporary wedding band.
I hope the zealots are happy. But in the words of Nathan R. Jessep in A Few Good Men, "All you did was weaken a [city] today. That's all you did. You put people's [marriages] in danger. Sweet dreams [city council]."
What happens in Iowa STAYS in Iowa.
*Satire, people. Satire.
**And I haven't even brought up the constant presence of Celine Dion.