Monday, April 11, 2005

Weekend Recap

Tiger won the Masters, the Cardinals lost two out of three to Philly, and I lost a monumental amount of cash. And lost my dinner Saturday night at the hands of that vicious yet bewitching nectar that is tequila. Damn you Masters tournament. DAMN YOU!

I learned that a hangover can be conquered with the following (in order):

  1. 1 half bottle Pepto Bismol
  2. 5 advil
  3. 1 half gallon coffee
  4. 1 bloody mary, extra spicy
  5. 2 dozen fried mushrooms with plenty of horseradish
  6. 2/3 pound bison burger with bleu cheese 'n' bacon & greasy onion straws
  7. 2 gallons water
  8. 1 warmed over ham & egg "Breakfast Jack" sandwich
  9. 2 more gallons water

By 5 pm Sunday, I was again functioning at a full 65 percent. This morning I feel great, except for having to sell my watch collection and big screen.

Note to self: arrange untimely death of "Sam the bookie."

2 comments:

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Never bet on baseball.

Pujols only has one HR. SLUMP!

Dave Morris said...

Gary, my request for a pull-over was a fairly urgent one. Your timing was impeccable. One second more, and... well.

BRFA, you only say "never bet on baseball" because you are a Cubs fan. My God, I'd be completely broke! Hey, just goading you a little, the rivalry is fun. But I would like to see Poo-holes hit his stride, he's a fun one to watch. Go Cubs! I mean, you know, if they must.